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Some of them are sun tea and some of them ... were sun tea.


Recycle everything, including jokes.

Al Gore

Drama is gay man Gatorade. It replenishes their electrolytes.


Conserve electricity. Don't be a zero, be a good guy.

Masi Oka

I once took a low-volume shower with Ed Begley, Jr. What else can I do?


I don't think there's a box for that on the form. How about Cheers Lied to Me?

Dr. Leo Spaceman

If a patient's friend runs in the room in the middle of an operation, then you have to stop. It's the doctor's code.

Dr. Leo Spaceman

Our topical cold open is about Omarosa borrowing Bjork's swan dress.


There are no rules. It's like check-in at an Italian sex party.


[on Green Week] Oh brother. Are they really going to do something this year or just put that stupid green peacock in the corner of the screen?


Holding up one finger to get someone to be quiet? He invented that ... Geiss also invented the abrupt conversational segue. Okay, talk about your thing now.


With real estate there are no rules. It's like check-in at an Italian airport.

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30 Rock Season 4 Episode 6 Quotes

Global warming? Sorry, sir, that's just scientist talk. The same people who say my grandfather was a monkey. If that's true, why was he killed by a monkey?


I can't afford this place by myself, and judging from your shoes and teeth, you can't either.