We lose half the congregation every time American Idol starts up.

Kenneth

Now, there are 140 people on this show, so go out there and make 126 people very happy.

Jack

Jack: You are both a disgrace to the Donaghy name!
Jack's Dad: It's pronounced "Don-a-fee," you lace-curtain half-an-Englishman!
Jack: When I think of all the things that I've been holding inside me that I wanted to say to you... [raises fists] Well now I'm gonna let "Saint Patrick" and "Saint Michael" DO MY TALKING FOR ME!
Jack's Dad: [raises fists] You'll have to get through "Tip O'Neill" and "Bobby Sands" first!
Eddie Donaghy: You call those fist names?! [raises fists] Say hello to "Bono" and "Sandra Day O'Connor!"
Jack: Those are the stupidest fist names I've ever heard.

Tracy: So what's your religion, Liz Lemon?
Liz: I pretty much just do whatever Oprah tells me to.

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