30 Rock Quotes
Colleen: Well, well, well, well, well, this must be the one, huh? Phoebe! Welcome.
Jack: No, no.
Liz: No, I-
Colleen: Welcome, welcome, welcome!
Jack: Mother, mother! This is not Phoebe.
Liz: No.
Colleen: This is not Phoebe? Well, why the hell not? I mean, she's perfect. Character, she got strength of character... and I tell you something else; she's got a good, solid... baby bucket.
Liz: You are a sassy old broad, aren't you?
Phoebe: Hello.
Jack: Uh, Mother, this is Phoebe. Phoebe, this is my mother.
Phoebe: Hello, Mother Donaghy, I'm Phoebe! It's such a pleasure to meet you. I love your little hat.
Colleen: Oh, my God.
Tell him his mother's here! ...And she loves him! ...But not in a queer way!
Colleen
Colleen: [referring to Phoebe] All right, scout's honor, what do you think of her?
[Jack gives Liz a look]
Liz: She's very well-read... and she's very stylish, don't you think? And you know the most important thing is she makes Jack very happy. She's like a... white geisha.
If the whole world moved to their favorite vacation spots, then the whole world would live in Hawaii and Italy and Cleveland.
Floyd
Phoebe: You know how John Lennon was better then all the rest of the Beatles but he never realized it until he met Yoko? Well I'm gonna be Jack's Yoko!
Liz: You want to be Yoko?!
I'm not a creative type like you, with your work sneakers and left-handedness.
Jack
Jack: You've been avoiding me, Lemon.
Liz: How do you do that without turning around?
Jack: To be perfectly honest, the first couple of people I did that to were not you, but... here we are.
Jack: Devon, I'm straighter than you are gay, and I leave particles of guys like you in my wind. I'm not afraid of you.
Devon: Yeah? Well you should be.
Jack: Let's just see how it all shakes out in the meeting.
Devon: Yeah, let's... Oh, by the way, little slim-waisted birdie in a page jacket told me you got nothing! You're going down.
Jack: No, Devon. I don't do that.
Jack: Devon, what can I do for you?
Devon: I think we're way past that Jack. Let's be honest with each other. I'll go first. I'm gay and I want your job.
Jack: Say the right things, ask him the right questions. I'm sure he could open some doors for you.
Kenneth: Okay. What kinds of questions?
Jack: I'll write them down for you. You call him and tell him you have two tickets for A Chorus Line for tonight. Now Kenneth, have you ever used bronzer?
Jack: You should get to know Devon, tell him all of your television ideas. You know he started off as page just like you.
Kenneth: Really? So did I!
