A to Z Season 1 Quotes
Andrew: What do you say we order in at your place tonight?
Zelda: I would love to, but Stephie and Joseph are making blood sausage. Which is either a euphemism or the real thing. Either way I want no part of it.
Almost forgot, before you sign. I'm required to tell you there's a sex offender living downstairs. And it's me.
Realtor
Stu: I just wanted to bring you guys some macaroons as a housewarming gift.
Zelda: Thank you very much. Where are the macaroons?
Stu: I ate them in the car while sobbing at a stoplight.
Andrew: What about Joseph?
StuL: Great guy, terrible roommate, is what he said about me.
Zelda: Why don't you just ask Stu to take off for the evening so we can have some alone time?
Andrew: Because I have a weird codependent relationship and I'm scared of hurting his feelings. But, what you said.
Andrew: We might as well go sleep on a beach.
Zelda: I think that's illegal.
Andrew: Plus, after dark, the transient's come and tickle you.
Zelda: What?
Andrew: That's a tale for another time.
Also, there's going to be a thunderstorm tonight. So I suggest we just skip a step and I just go to bed with you guys.
Stu
[Thunder]
Andrew: Oh no!
Stu: I know that thunder is just the sound of God bowling, but can I spend the night with you guys?
Stephie: You know you guys dated for, like, a day and a half, right?
Stu: But it flew by like it was two-thirds of a day.
I may be a jealous, possessive, paranoid person, but that bitch is trying to steal my man.
Jennifer
Andrew, you set him up with a hooker? This company does not do that for clients anymore.
Lydia
Andrew: I think I'm about to get into a fight and probably lose my job.
Zelda: Aw. Should I go to the window and watch?
Andrew: No. I think you should look for Stephie.
