Accidentally on Purpose Season 1 Episode 6: "Fight Club" Quotes
Zack: Best friends are like Supreme Court appointments. You can't lose that job until you retire or die.
Davis: Sweet, man. A job you can't get fired from. That is tailor-made for moi
James: I've got two simple rules that I live by: keep all my blood inside my body and have as many orgasms as possible. And anyone who's doing anything else is doing it wrong
Billie: Who wants makeup ribs?!
Davis: Ooh. I heard "makeup" and I was like "not me." Then I heard "ribs" and I was like "meeee!"
Billie: Zack peed on me.
Abby: Is that a metaphor, like "he peed on your dreams"?
Billie: Nope, he actually peed on me.
Olivia: Well, that needs to be consensual
Billie: Did you tell [Abby] about my half-a-wax?
Olivia: I don't talk to her unless you're here
Ryan: [Billie] ate our ribs?! And this is how I find out? Oh, it is on!
Davis: Yeah! What could we do? How could we get her back? What of hers can we eat? Does she have a cat... or something like a cat?
Billie: Why isn't the toilet where the hole is?
Zack: I don't want to get into complicated plumbing terms right now, but it turns out, I do not know how to install a toilet.
Billie: Well-- this is just it! I mean, there are boundaries! And not peeing on me is one of them, I think!
I thought you were asleep in your bed. The pillows were arranged in a very Billie-like way, and I thought they were breathing. I swear the pillows were breathing!Zack [to Billie]
Olivia: So, you left halfway through your waxing, and now it looks like a seven?
Billie: Or, from my point of view, an L
Zack [carrying a toilet upstairs]: This thing was way cheap on Craigslist.
Davis: This is a used toilet?!
Zack [about his ribs Billie stole]: They were only boiled. I hadn't even barbecued them yet.
Billie: Oh, I dipped them in some maple syrup and they were fantastic!