Accidentally on Purpose

CBS

Accidentally on Purpose "Fight Club" Quotes

Zack: Best friends are like Supreme Court appointments. You can't lose that job until you retire or die.
Davis: Sweet, man. A job you can't get fired from. That is tailor-made for moi
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

James: I've got two simple rules that I live by: keep all my blood inside my body and have as many orgasms as possible. And anyone who's doing anything else is doing it wrong
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Billie: Who wants makeup ribs?!
Davis: Ooh. I heard "makeup" and I was like "not me." Then I heard "ribs" and I was like "meeee!"
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Billie: Zack peed on me.
Abby: Is that a metaphor, like "he peed on your dreams"?
Billie: Nope, he actually peed on me.
Olivia: Well, that needs to be consensual
• Rating: Unrated

Billie: Did you tell [Abby] about my half-a-wax?
Olivia: I don't talk to her unless you're here
• Rating: Unrated

Ryan: [Billie] ate our ribs?! And this is how I find out? Oh, it is on!
Davis: Yeah! What could we do? How could we get her back? What of hers can we eat? Does she have a cat... or something like a cat?
• Rating: Unrated

Billie: Why isn't the toilet where the hole is?
Zack: I don't want to get into complicated plumbing terms right now, but it turns out, I do not know how to install a toilet.
Billie: Well-- this is just it! I mean, there are boundaries! And not peeing on me is one of them, I think!
• Rating: Unrated

Zack [to Billie]: I thought you were asleep in your bed. The pillows were arranged in a very Billie-like way, and I thought they were breathing. I swear the pillows were breathing!
• Rating: Unrated