Archer Season 5 Episode 8: "Archer Vice: The Rules of Extraction" Quotes
Cyril, make sure it's good and tight. (pause) Haha, why are we still not doing phrasing?
Cyril: Do you think those guys are Doctors Without Borders?
Archer: Yes Cyril, I do. I bet those assault rifles shoot polio vaccines.
- Permalink: Yes Cyril, I do. I bet those assault rifles shoot polio vaccines.
Cyril: Go where?
Archer: Well long term, I was thinking home. Short term, somewhere that's not the crocodile version of a drive thru.
Blah blah blah, some joke about you two having vaginas, let's go.
- Permalink: Blah blah blah, some joke about you two having vaginas, let's go.
Cyril: Well, you did set the raft on fire.
Ray: Oh my God, you always take his side!
Cyril: I never, ever, EVER take his side!
- Permalink: I never, ever, EVER take his side!
Ray: Crocodiles don't have ears!
Archer: They absolutely have ears, shit-head!
- Permalink: They absolutely have ears, shit-head!
Cyril: Why are you so scared of crocodiles?
Archer: Gee, I don't know, Cyril. Maybe deep down I'm afraid of any apex predator that lived through the K-T extinction. Physically unchanged for a hundred million years, because it's the perfect killing machine. A half ton of cold-blooded fury, the bite force of 20,000 Newtons, and stomach acid so strong it can dissolve bones and hoofs.
I took three Valium. If I get any more relaxed I will literally die.Malory
- Permalink: I took three Valium. If I get any more relaxed I will literally die.
What? I don't think it's racist to assume that a previously uncontacted tribe of indigenous peoples might react unpredictably, perhaps even wildly, to a bunch of white guys who walk up and hand them a goddamn M16!
Archer: Great idea, Cyril. Let's give an M16 to a bunch of wild Indians!
Ray: Goddamn, Huckleberry Finn!
- Permalink: Goddamn, Huckleberry Finn!
Cyril: What do crocodiles eat?
Archer: Everything! They eat everything! And fear is their bacon bits.
- Permalink: Everything! They eat everything! And fear is their bacon bits.
Cyril: These guys don't look too good.
Archer: Well, they're gonna look even worse when they're jaguar poop.
- Permalink: Well, they're gonna look even worse when they're jaguar poop.
Eat a dick, jungle.Archer
- Permalink: Eat a dick, jungle.
Ray: How long will it take you, Archer, to admit that you dick around every time we're in danger, just to screw with everybody, because of your complete - no, your utter contempt for your own mortality?!
Archer: I mean, yeah. Duh.
- Permalink: I mean, yeah. Duh.