Mondays 10:00 PM on FX
Archer

Malory: And if that's my pantsuit you're stretching out I'll have your guts for garters.
Gillette: You NEED some garters.

Oh, rocket launchers. My car is slowing down for no apparent reason. Just must be out of... carburetor

Gillette

Can you not rub your dick in my mother's pantyhose, please?

Archer

Gillette: He's like a thousand.
Lana: You won't be having sex with him.
Gillette: Well, wait, he is a Duke.
Lana: No means no.

I've broken into way tougher places, right? Well, not without my turtleneck...

Archer

Archer: I have a plan that doesn't involve you stealing my toiletries.
Gillette: You're not using them.
Archer: Yes, I am
Gillette: Go look at your pores and then tell me you're using them

Why was he dressed as Hitler?

Malory

Why was I dressed like Hitler?

Archer

Gillette: Archer is drunk.
Malory: Who are you, Carrie Nation?

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