Archer

Mondays 10:00 PM on FX
Archer
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Anka: My hands are really burning.
Archer: Woh. That's first degree frost bite. Too bad you don't have big mitteny gloves like me. I can't feel a thing in them.

Anka: Are you going to throw that in my face the rest of my life?
Archer: Yeah, all four minutes of it.

Immigrants. Cramming their low riders full of free health care and... snow.

Malory

I'm sure I've been in worse situations... but right now I'm kind of drawing a blank.

Archer

I can't be alone. That's when she strikes like a slutty little Ninja.

Archer

Archer: I forgot you won the Olympic gold medal in men's downhill.
Gillette: Well, ass, it was giant shalom and I only took bronze.
Archer: So? You lost?
Gillette: I came in third.
Archer: Which is last.
Gillette: Which is third...
Archer: Last.
Gillette: In he world.
Archer: You lost. Geeze, get over it.

So does this look as bad as it looks?

Archer

Anka: I'm from Germany, where the age of consent is 14.
Archer: What is it, the Alabama of Europe?

Archer: She doesn't look like she's just turning 17.
Lana: No, she looks like she's just turning 18.
Archer: Exactly. Plus Europeans use the metric system...

Lana: Gestad? Count me in!
Archer: And me out. I'm not getting frost bite protecting some old German guy.
Malory: Herr Schlotz isn't the intended victim. It's his daughter Anka.
Archer: Who obviously needs someone on her. Constantly. I will that someone who's constantly on her.

Cyril: I will start cooking the books.
Lana: Good thing you know how to cheat.

Videotex? Wow, growth industry.

Archer
Displaying all 12 quotes

Archer Season 2 Episode 1 Quotes

Cyril: I will start cooking the books.
Lana: Good thing you know how to cheat.

Videotex? Wow, growth industry.

Archer