Archer
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on FXArcher Quotes
Gillette: My mother told me she loved me all the time.
Malory: Exactly, look how you turned out.
Gillette: Uh, with high self esteem?
I never thought I'd say this, but I really miss the Zima.
As you can see I have wine coolers on my feet because my toe nails are popping off like pogs.
Do I look like I need bald guy cream?. Mikey, I can barely get a comb through this. It's so thick my barber charges me double.
Hmm. Cock flavored spit? Well you never know what's gonna be on the board! Let me see cock-flavored spit!
Save it for the fast money round, Paddy.
Hostage: Do you have any have any idea who our boss is?
Archer: Nope, but 100 people surveyed. Number one answer's on the board. Name the douchebag who's in charge.
Hostage: Vincent van Gogh fuck yourself.
Archer: Hmm? Vincent van Gogh fuck myself? Survey says?
Plus I can only assume a Brazilian mafia would be about a gazillion times hotter.
Archer: Cry "Havoc!" and let slip the hogs of war.
Krieger: Dogs of wars.
Archer: Whatever farm animal of war, Lana. Shut up.
Archer: I've been treating my cancer with sugar pills!?
Krieger: You didn't think it was weird your chemo drugs were chewable?
Archer: Little kids get cancer.
Archer: Hello? There's this great new thing called coasters!
Cheryl: Geesh Al, sorry.
Archer: Don't apologize to me, apologize to the Brazilian Rosewood.
Archer: Lana, I'm in love with you.
Lana: You are also shitfaced.
Archer: I can be both.
