I'd rather be dead in California than alive in Arizona.

Lucille

Unbelievable. Sounds like you saved enough skin to make 10 new boys.

Michael

Gob: So what? Lindsay's been staying at the Four Seas for, like, a month- she's probably charging the company.
Michael: Lindsay's been in town for a month?
Gob: I don't think so.

Michael: What have we always said is the most important thing. What comes first?
George Michael: Breakfast.
Michael: Family.
George Michael: Family. Right. I thought you meant out of the things you eat.

Tobias recently lost his medical license for administering C.P.R. to a person who, as it turns out, was not having a heart attack.

Narrator

Lucille: If you're saying I play favorites, you're wrong. I love all my children equally.
(Earlier that day)
Lucille: I don't care for Gob.

Michael: Dad was always banker, so there was no beating him.
George Michael: He should have been stocking up on those "get out of jail free" cards.

Michael: (about George Michael) Well, I guess he really misses his family.
Lindsay: Well, he doesn't know us very well.
Michael: Yeah, clearly.

Well, I'm sorry. It's just it's too late. I'm truly sorry, but I'm moving to Phoenix. I got a job. (long pause) It's something you apply for, and then they pay you to, um ... never mind. I don't want to ruin the surprise.

Michael
Displaying quotes 10 - 18 of 31 in total