Buster: Uh, I'm unclear about what it is exactly you do.
Jessie: Excellent question. What a publicist does ...
Buster: No, no, I was talking to George Michael. When did you get a job?
George Michael: At the banana stand.
Buster: Oh, duh. I thought you meant, like, a plumber or something, and I was, like, when did that happen?

(to Jessie) Instead of us getting jobs, why don't you do your job and tell everyone we've got jobs?

Lindsay

Michael: I met a publicist today. I'm going to hire her. We need somebody to make us look good.
Lucille: And I say it's a waste of money. We're-we're plenty sympathetic as we are. Is this your onion?
Lupe: Yes.
Lucille: What's in the foil?
Lupe: Nothing. It's a ball of foil for my son.
Lucille: Have a great day, sweetie.

Lindsay: (sobbing) How can you treat me this way?!
Lucille: Oh, please! Everything I've said about you can be covered with makeup and a lie about a thyroid problem. Good grief almighty! You think I'm enjoying my slide into poverty?

Waitress: Welcome to Klimpy's. Anywhere you like.
Lucille: This does not bode well.

Hostess: Mrs. Bluth, there's absolutely no room.
Lindsay: Come on. I've suddenly lost my appetite.
Lucille: Oh, who's going to believe that?

Jessie: Well, George Michael, are you happy?
George Michael: Well ... I got a bum away from the stand without hurting his feelings. That was pretty sweet.

Michael: I can assure you that my family is back on track and no longer in any trouble.
Charles Milford: Not according to today's paper.
Michael: Oh, God, what have we done this time?

Michael: Are you talking about the fact that my father is in jail? Because I don't like to be compared to my father, either.
George Michael: I don't mind being compared to my father.
Michael: Save it for the talk room, son.

Charles Milford: Things have changed around here. We have talking sessions throughout the day. We even have a talking room where students are encouraged to go in and talk to their heart's content.
George Michael: Sounds like fun.
Michael: First thing he's said all day.

On the next Arrested Development, Buster moves to the kitchen.

Narrator

Lindsay: You seem like a man of taste and class.
Man at bar: I'll give you $2,000 to touch me.
(Tobias and Carl Weathers enter bar)
Lindsay: Oh, my god, my husband.
Man at bar:You're married to Carl Weathers? S***!

Arrested Development Season 1 Episode 11 Quotes

Michael: Look, George Michael, I want you to tell me how you feel, ok? I don't want you to worry so much about hurting my feelings.
George Michael: I didn't want to go to that school, and Jessie's a psycho.
Michael: It could've saved us a little bit of time.

Jessie: Well, George Michael, are you happy?
George Michael: Well ... I got a bum away from the stand without hurting his feelings. That was pretty sweet.