George Michael: It's like you said. You can't change who you are. So what? So, I don't have any hair on my arms or legs. So what? You know, a leather jacket's not going to change that. You know, I was trying to act like a tough guy, and it's wrong. I'm just a boring, old nice guy like you.
Michael: I'm not that nice.

Lucille: You know, he's damaged goods. He was born with a hole in his heart.
Lucille 2: Listen to me, Lucille. I'm going to fill that hole 'cause we're in love.
Lucille: Oh, please. You're no more in love with him than I am.
Buster: Okay, we're all saying some things we're going to regret.

Lucille: Buster's been humping the widow Austero.
Buster: Mom ...
George, Sr.: Is that true?
Buster: No. We're taking it slow.
Lucille: He stays there sometimes until 7:00, 8:00 at night. Peanut brittle on his breath. Is she the one who's going to take him to the dentist?
Buster: She already has.

Lucille: Why is there a piece of shoe on your head?
George, Sr.: This is a ... Well, it's a reminder that the divine presence is always above me.

George Michael: Oh, you bought a chair.
Michael: Uh, no. Actually, uh, I borrowed it, like we talked about.
George Michael: Well, I thought we decided that was like stealing.
Michael: Is that where we landed on that?

Maeby: Did you get a job or something?
Tobias: No. No, I didn't. Unless you consider "world's coolest daddy" a job.

Lindsay: This just isn't you.
Michael: It's me now. It's the me that can recline.
(Michael leans back and falls off his chair)
Lindsay: Did that hurt?
Michael: No.

Gob: You're a good brother, Michael.
Lindsay: You're a horrible brother, Michael.

Narrator: And so, for the first time, Michael set a plan in motion to take something that didn't belong to him.
Michael: You know, I was thinking. I'd like to help you guys out one more time. You know what you should do? You should surprise Gob on stage. I know that he's looking for a new assistant.

Lance: May I help you?
Tobias: Oh, I hope so. Um, I'm looking for something that says, "Dad likes leather."
Lance: Something that says, "leather daddy"?
Tobias: Oh, is there such a thing?

Tobias: Oh, Maeby, great news. I got my hands on some money. I can't say how or when ... or where my wedding ring is, but my purse overfloweth, as do my high spirits, so a-shopping we must go.
Maeby: Dad, we already went.

Michael watched as the brother he swore to stop helping enjoyed the girlfriend he helped him reunite with. And so, he returned to work, accepting the fact that he was a good guy. But not as good as everyone thought.

Narrator
Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 39 in total

Arrested Development Season 1 Episode 9 Quotes

George Michael: It's like you said. You can't change who you are. So what? So, I don't have any hair on my arms or legs. So what? You know, a leather jacket's not going to change that. You know, I was trying to act like a tough guy, and it's wrong. I'm just a boring, old nice guy like you.
Michael: I'm not that nice.

Michael watched as the brother he swore to stop helping enjoyed the girlfriend he helped him reunite with. And so, he returned to work, accepting the fact that he was a good guy. But not as good as everyone thought.

Narrator
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