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George Michael: It's like you said. You can't change who you are. So what? So, I don't have any hair on my arms or legs. So what? You know, a leather jacket's not going to change that. You know, I was trying to act like a tough guy, and it's wrong. I'm just a boring, old nice guy like you.
Michael: I'm not that nice.
- Permalink: It's like you said. You can't change who you are. So what? So, I...
Lucille: You know, he's damaged goods. He was born with a hole in his heart.
Lucille 2: Listen to me, Lucille. I'm going to fill that hole 'cause we're in love.
Lucille: Oh, please. You're no more in love with him than I am.
Buster: Okay, we're all saying some things we're going to regret.
- Permalink: You know, he's damaged goods. He was born with a hole in his hea...
Lucille: Buster's been humping the widow Austero.
Buster: Mom ...
George, Sr.: Is that true?
Buster: No. We're taking it slow.
Lucille: He stays there sometimes until 7:00, 8:00 at night. Peanut brittle on his breath. Is she the one who's going to take him to the dentist?
Buster: She already has.
- Permalink: Buster's been humping the widow Austero. Mom ... Is that tru...
Lucille: Why is there a piece of shoe on your head?
George, Sr.: This is a ... Well, it's a reminder that the divine presence is always above me.
- Permalink: Why is there a piece of shoe on your head? This is a ... Well,...
George Michael: Oh, you bought a chair.
Michael: Uh, no. Actually, uh, I borrowed it, like we talked about.
George Michael: Well, I thought we decided that was like stealing.
Michael: Is that where we landed on that?
- Permalink: Oh, you bought a chair. Uh, no. Actually, uh, I borrowed it, l...
Maeby: Did you get a job or something?
Tobias: No. No, I didn't. Unless you consider "world's coolest daddy" a job.
- Permalink: Did you get a job or something? No. No, I didn't. Unless you c...
Lindsay: This just isn't you.
Michael: It's me now. It's the me that can recline.
(Michael leans back and falls off his chair)
Lindsay: Did that hurt?
- Permalink: This just isn't you. It's me now. It's the me that can recline...
Gob: You're a good brother, Michael.
Lindsay: You're a horrible brother, Michael.
- Permalink: You're a good brother, Michael. You're a horrible brother, Mic...
Narrator: And so, for the first time, Michael set a plan in motion to take something that didn't belong to him.
Michael: You know, I was thinking. I'd like to help you guys out one more time. You know what you should do? You should surprise Gob on stage. I know that he's looking for a new assistant.
- Permalink: And so, for the first time, Michael set a plan in motion to take...
Lance: May I help you?
Tobias: Oh, I hope so. Um, I'm looking for something that says, "Dad likes leather."
Lance: Something that says, "leather daddy"?
Tobias: Oh, is there such a thing?
- Permalink: May I help you? Oh, I hope so. Um, I'm looking for something t...
Tobias: Oh, Maeby, great news. I got my hands on some money. I can't say how or when ... or where my wedding ring is, but my purse overfloweth, as do my high spirits, so a-shopping we must go.
Maeby: Dad, we already went.
- Permalink: Oh, Maeby, great news. I got my hands on some money. I can't say...
Michael watched as the brother he swore to stop helping enjoyed the girlfriend he helped him reunite with. And so, he returned to work, accepting the fact that he was a good guy. But not as good as everyone thought.Narrator
- Permalink: Michael watched as the brother he swore to stop helping enjoyed ...