Popular Bored to Death Quotes
Jonathan: 'I love you more than you know. Jonathan.'
Suzanne: That was a nice note. But you don't have to read your name in the end.
Jonathan: I know. I'm very literal-minded. You know that.
(Jennifer suspecting her boyfriend is cheating)
Jonathan: Are you sure?
Jennifer: That's what my therapist said. 'Are you sure?' Yes, I'm sure! God, it's like I'm surrounded by Holocaust deniers. It happened. I'm sure!
Jonathan: Oh my God, what the hell happened to your lip? You were stung by a bee?
George: Yes. A bee with herpes.
Jonathan: God, that's the biggest herpes blister I've ever seen in my life.
George: Thank you. I'm very proud of it.
(to Ray before his colonic) Don't be scared. It will a good experience for you, I promise. I am going to find all your treasures.
Yousef
Yousef: (looking at Jonathan's black eye then to Ray) Lovers quarrel?
Jonathan: Ummm...more or less.
I love martinis. They heal all wounds.
George
Jonathan: Why was [Priscilla] your best wife?
George: Everything with her is as intimate as kissing. I never really got over it. Most orgasmic woman I've ever been with.
Leah: I don't feel good about this. I don't want you to be a sperm donor.
Ray: But it's flattering. They're fans of my work. I've never had lesbian fans before.
Leah: They should go to a sperm bank. You can't just give your sperm to two girls you met in a cafe.
Ray: I met you in a cafe.
Ray: Okay. I'll trade you therapy for sex. It's been almost three weeks.
Leah: I think it's sweet you know how long it's been. (goes to Ray and hugs him)
I'm very oral nowadays. I feel like I'm... half-man, half-infant.
George
I've always been intrigued by Stockholm Syndrome. Make me think of my childhood.
Jonathon
