Bored to Death

Bored to Death Season 1 Quotes

Season 1 Episode 8: "Take a Dive"

George: It's a good thing to stay in the dark about things - it keeps life interesting.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jonathan: Sal, I'm scared.
Sal: That is okay. All fighters are scared, but once you get into the ring, you are like a God.
Jonathan: But I'm agnostic.
Sal: I'll say a prayer for you.

 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Lewis Green: to quote Machiavelli, "there aren't any dirty tricks, just winning and losing".
 • Rating: Unrated

Stella: Want to vaporize some more pot?
Jonathan: I want to vaporize you.

 • Rating: Unrated

Stella: My whole body is vibrating like a tuning fork.
 • Rating: Unrated

Stella: (Talking about her vaporizer) And it's healthy because it's invisible vapor.
 • Rating: Unrated

Trainer: You gotta make a sandwich. Your hands are the bread and your face is the meat. You gotta protect the meat.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jonathan: They say the pen is mightier than the sword.
 • Rating: 3.5 / 5.0

Season 1 Episode 7: "The Case of the Stolen Sperm "

Ray: (hearing word of a boxing match) What about me? I wanna fight!
 • Rating: Unrated

Ray: I'm having a baby and the mother of my child hates me.
 • Rating: Unrated

Ray: I can't believe I shot thirty blanks - I'm a sterile loser.
 • Rating: Unrated

Suzanne: Your sperm is my sperm.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Jonathan: (realizing that they got caught breaking and entering by some Rabbi's) Hey - it's okay! I'm Jewish!
 • Rating: Unrated

Jonathan: The only thing that I found in the kitchen is an unopened bottle of kombucha tea..why would they leave this? This stuff is great and so expensive!
 • Rating: Unrated

Jonathan: She liked me! And my pot.
 • Rating: Unrated

Ray: When I get high I realize that I clench my anus.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Girl at the store: I like a man who carries a one-hitter.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 1 Episode 6: "The Case of the Beautiful Blackmailer"

George: No thank you, I'm still stoned - that was really good pot.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jonathan: She's gonna face the music, and I'm gonna play it.
 • Rating: Unrated

George: I really don't have an oppinion, I'm too stoned to think, but I'm having a good time.
 • Rating: Unrated

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