It's a good thing to stay in the dark about things - it keeps life interesting.

George

Jonathan: Sal, I'm scared.
Sal: That is okay. All fighters are scared, but once you get into the ring, you are like a God.
Jonathan: But I'm agnostic.
Sal: I'll say a prayer for you.

to quote Machiavelli, "there aren't any dirty tricks, just winning and losing".

Lewis Green

Stella: Want to vaporize some more pot?
Jonathan: I want to vaporize you.

My whole body is vibrating like a tuning fork.

Stella

(Talking about her vaporizer) And it's healthy because it's invisible vapor.

Stella

You gotta make a sandwich. Your hands are the bread and your face is the meat. You gotta protect the meat.

Trainer

They say the pen is mightier than the sword.

Jonathan

(hearing word of a boxing match) What about me? I wanna fight!

Ray

I'm having a baby and the mother of my child hates me.

Ray

I can't believe I shot thirty blanks - I'm a sterile loser.

Ray

Your sperm is my sperm.

Suzanne
Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 76 in total

Bored to Death Season 1 Quotes

Men face reality. Women don't. That why men need to drink.

George

I've always been intrigued by Stockholm Syndrome. Make me think of my childhood.

Jonathon
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