The last lady I went out with burst into tears when I told her I was a Gemini.

Jake

Amy: What was your worst date ever?
Jake: I think it's like a 50-way tie.

Permission to go to the bathroom?
Jake. Granted. First of three. Use them wisely.

Amy

I think I am...getting a text message. Bloop! There it is.

Holt

Chop-chop. There's plenty of embarrassing to do and only a few hours to do it in.

Jake

Yes, 911? What's the safest way to set a car on fire?

Amy

Hey Santiago! Do you have any dietary restrictions that Medieval Times should know about?

Jake

Up by one, Peralta. Anything you want to say to your car before you never see it again?

Amy

Gina: What's the worst thing in the world for you, Santiago?
Amy: Being one of those girls in Jake's car.

That car is your superpower! Thor would never wager his hammer, and Neil Patrick Harris would never wager his showmanship!

Charles

That thing is a date magnet! How many girls have you made out with in that car - six?!

Charles

Amy: Don't say money because I know you're in debt.
Jake: Well, if you really knew me, you'd say crushing debt

Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 1 Episode 13 Quotes

That thing is a date magnet! How many girls have you made out with in that car - six?!

Charles

Amy: Don't say money because I know you're in debt.
Jake: Well, if you really knew me, you'd say crushing debt