Terry: Also keep Captain Holt away from her.
Jake: Really? Why?
Terry: He's always weird around her and it stresses her out. She says he reminds her of those judgemental trees from Lord of The Rings.
Jake: (scoffs) They're called Ents, get a life, dweeb.

Sharon: A doula is someone who supports you emotionally and physically, and coaches you through the process.
Jake: Oh I see, so sort of like a vaginal Gandalf.

Who doesn't bring their phone with them into the bathroom? That's like the whole reason to go in there.

Jake

Terry: Feels like you're being a little harsh.
Rosa: Thanks, good note. I was going for extremely harsh, I'll turn it up.

Terry: Don't let Rosa fool you, she's not that scary. She used to do ballet.
Sam: No way.
Rosa: Which gave me the physical skills I need to strangle you with my feet.

Jake: Ames you're two minutes late, I called all the emergency rooms.
Amy: I know, I went home from your place to shower and I was so tired that I fell asleep while shaving my legs.

I did some research on amicable breakups. I visited www dot ladiesgoodhealthmag dot com backslash sex hyphen relationships backslash 8 6 7 5 9 9 9 0 4 backslash 9 4 3 2 ampersand 2 2 5 dot html. Do you know that site?

Holt

I told Kevin about how I approved about your strategy for breaking up with Marcus, and he said that we were "sociopaths."

Holt

I was so scared, you guys. A psychic told me I was going to die alone in a pit, and I kept telling myself, "This is a hole, not a pit. This is a hole, not a pit. This is a hole, not a pit. This is a hole, not a pit. This is a hole, not a pit."

Charles

Gina: If we're gonna do this, we're gonna do it my way, okay? First I'm gonna need to break you down to nothing, and then build you back up, piece by piece.
Amy: The meeting's tomorrow.
Gina: Then we'll just break you down to nothing and see what time it is.

Amy: I'm afraid I might come across a little boring.
Gina: (gasp) Amy, are you asking me to "She's All That" you?!
Amy: I didn't read that.

Rosa: I don't want to talk about it.
Holt: I regret the words we've already spoken.

Brooklyn Nine-Nine Quotes

Amy: Rule number one, let's not tell anyone so we can figure out what this is first.
Jake: Smart. Rule number two, let's not put labels on it. We're not boyfriend and girlfriend, we're just...murmzeep and jinglebin.
Amy: Great. Rule number three, let's not have sex right away.
Jake: (pause) Cool. Cool cool cool cool cool cool cool, no doubt no doubt no doubt no doubt. Good rule, no sex, good rule.

Hi, Gina Linetti, the human form of the 100 emoji.

Gina