Amy: What do you have to do?
Jake: (dejected) Don Johnson it.
Charles: (excited) Don Johnson it!

Holt: Are you with me?
Terry: Oh hell yeah!
Gina: I'm turning my phone on to airplane mode.
Terry: Oh my gosh, she doesn't even do that on airplanes!

Madeleine's not some invincible succubus. She's a regular succubus and she can be defeated.


Jake: You remember when you told me that you didn't want to date cops? (bad Jamaican accent) Dat really bum me out, mon!"
Amy: Jamaican?
Jake: Yeah, that was a bad choice, I'm much better at German.

Okay, look, the reason I didn't want to work with you...can I do this in an accent so that I can undercut some of the awkwardness I'm feeling?


Goodbye, beautiful machine. Thank you for your service.


That machine's been here forever, it's basically part of the force. Take Scully instead.


Jake: This machine was the best restaurant in Brooklyn, and it always had a table for me.
Rosa: I knew just where to punch it to get free food, now I have to go back to punching Hitchcock.

Before I came to the 99, I was rotting away at a desk in the Public Relations department. All I wanted was a chance to do good police work again, I just got it, and I blew it, thinking about that devil toad. I'm tired of politics. Let's get that punk!


Rosa, I should have listened to you.
Rosa. Yeah. Everyone should listen to me all the time about everything.


Wuntch: I couldn't be happier!
Holt: Wait - why would you say that? And why aren't you clenching your little rat hands in anger?


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Brooklyn Nine-Nine Quotes

Jake: So talk to me Goose, how are we lookin'?
Gina: Sexy, but not like we're trying to, but like, sure we're trying, but it's almost effortless?

“The Squad” is the best book I ever read, and I’ve read 15 books.