Amy: It hasn't exactly been light and breezy.
Jake: Yeah, it's been more like stressful and deathy.

Light and breezy is how you describe a linen pant suit, not a relationship you care about!


You know my motto sir, chos before hoes. "Chos" woud be chores.


Gina: I figured PR would be the easiest way to launch my reality show "Linetti, Set, Go."
Holt: I thought your reality show was "Gina in a Bottle."
Gina: No, that was the name of my fragrance line, keep up!

Terry: I'm Sgt Terry Jeffords.
Seth Dozerman: And I'm not interested. I have no use for people. I find people weird and confusing. I live my life by numbers.

Yes, we did kiss each other. For realz.


Amy: How do we keep it light and breezy...I know. A comprehensive set of rules.
Jake: How am I attracted to you? Doesn't matter. I am. Go.

Rosa: I don't need to be monitored all day long, I'm not a toddler. This is stupid.
Terry: I know you're not a toddler, because my toddlers would know that "stupid" is a no-no word.

Wuntch: Hello Raymond. You're looking old and sickly.
Holt: So nice of you to greet us, Madeline. I thought surely you'd be crushed under that house in Munchkin land.
Wuntch: Sticks and stones, Raymond.
Holt: Describing your breakfast?

Jake: We broke a rule.
Amy: Yeah we broke a rule. Hope it wasn't a mistake.
Jake: "Hope it wasn't a mistake" the title of your sex tape. (gasp) The title of OUR sex tape!

Charles: Did you kiss? Did you French?!
Jake: Charles, I'm not gonna answer that. And no one over the age of twelve says "French!"

Dozerman: Also, someone named Norm Scully has been in the bathroom for 72 minutes.
Jake: Yeah, that means he's about halfway.