Trust me, turn the other cheek, which I recently learned is about faces, and not butts, but works either way.


Captain, you're smiling, it's very weird, like seeing a turtle out of its shell.


Seriously, I cannot stop smiling. How do people do this with their faces?


Doug Judy: This is my bodyguard, Selena. We're doing it on the DL.
Rosa: He's an amazing lover. I'm pregnant.
Doug Judy: Awww nice!

Jake: I've already got my cover story worked out. My name is Dante Thunderstone. I stole my first car at the tender age of nine.
Doug Judy: You had to fend for yourself since your mother was struck by lightening...
Jake: While she was pregnant with me. She passed. I lived. Some say that makes Zeus my dad.

I said no because drugs are stupid, except for weed and sex pills. A man has his needs.

Doug Judy

Boyle: Gina, you need to see this.
Gina: Oh Charles, I can't take that. It's clearly not cash and I don't have time in my life to return things.

Take a good look kids. This is what happens when you're naughty!


Jake: Don't get me wrong. I am thrilled to know that you used to like me and I will bring it up constantly.
Amy: Great.
Jake: Hey, should we make a left up here at "You used to like me" Lane or...
Amy: Ha ha.
Jake: I could always just cut across "Amy used to like Jake" Boulevard.
Amy: Stop it, or I'll crash the car!
Jake: Don't do that!

Boyle: No. What you smell is the burning wreckage of my relationship with Holt.
Scully: Soooo... there's no corn on the cob?

I just negotiated my baby girls down from a pony to a hamster. Little fools.


I'm gonna rip your damn head off Grandma!