Terry: It was a sealed window on the 5th floor. You could have just gone in the door with Charles!
Jake: Yeah, but then what would my catchphrase have been? "Knock knock, who's there, justice?"

Rosa: Why are you dressed up? You look like an idiot.
Charles: But...but...
Amy: Yeah, what are you supposed to be, a sassy car mechanic?
Jake: No, come on, he's clearly the rejected Pop-Tarts mascot, Hairy Pop-Tart.
Charles: I am not! You know who I am!
Holt: Squad, that's enough. You're making Boyle feel bad on purpose. He's Elvis!
Charles: Yes!
Holt: Elvis Stojko, the Canadian figure skater.
Charles: No!!!!

Jake: As you may know, for the past two years, Captain Holt and I have engaged in an epic battle of wits. The goal? To determine who must call the other an amazing detective-slash-genius.
Holt: The first year, by sheer dumb luck, Jake eked out a feeble victory.
Jake: And last year I let the Captain win because he's old and sad.

Jake: You should have seen us Rosa, Charles and I were amazing.
Rosa: I somersaulted through a window, cut the crown out of a briefcase and replaced everything in under a minute.
Jake: Yeah, I guess you helped a little. But our fake argument was super convincing, and all of a sudden we had to make it longer, and we did!

Holt: This year's a tie-breaker. A final heist to decide once and for all the true king of the Nine-Nine.
Jake: Halloween Heist 3; The Heistening. Tagline?
Holt: This year we both attempt to steal the same object instead of Jake attempting to steal one from me.

Holt: Alpha team, this is the Golden Sparrow. Rendezvous at drop-zone Yankee.
Jake: When did you come up with all those code names?!?!

Charles: Start taking care of yourself again! I miss those gross, overly large muscles!
Terry: Lay off my body, dude! I clearly got some stuff to work through!

Charles: Hitchcock offered massage sessions for your wife --
Terry: What!?
Charles: So I pepper-sprayed him.

Jake: Okay slayer, prepare to go to jail for oolong time.
Holt: Now say "punk."
Jake: Punk!
Holt: PUNK!!

The Vulture: Let's see what you got for the B-day bash.
Amy: I thought you wanted us to surprise you?
The Vulture: It's a figure of speech, Detective Stupidago.

Gina: Jake, dope alley!
Jake: I know! I think this is where Batman's parents got killed.

Charles: You're looking a little fat.
Terry: How dare you. You can't comment on my body, this is a workplace! Now I'm feeling objectified by your male gaze!
Charles: Please, just listen, sir.
Terry: I will not listen! You are trying to shame me and that will not fly!

Brooklyn Nine-Nine Quotes

Amy: Rule number one, let's not tell anyone so we can figure out what this is first.
Jake: Smart. Rule number two, let's not put labels on it. We're not boyfriend and girlfriend, we're just...murmzeep and jinglebin.
Amy: Great. Rule number three, let's not have sex right away.
Jake: (pause) Cool. Cool cool cool cool cool cool cool, no doubt no doubt no doubt no doubt. Good rule, no sex, good rule.

Hi, Gina Linetti, the human form of the 100 emoji.