Mondays 10:00 PM on ABC
Castle

Castle: Let me borrow your magnifying glass.
Beckett: I don't have a magnifying glass.
Castle: Isn't that standard issue for detectives?
Beckett: No, not since Sherlock Holmes.

Beckett: Are you looking at porn?
Castle: I use Ryan's computer for that.

Alexis: I can't believe how many lives were ruined over one woman's need to protect her family's reputation.
Castle: You will never have this problem between Grams and myself... our family reputation's already in ruins.
Alexis: Lucky me.

You've got multiple witnesses and a license plate number? It's gonna take you, what, all of five minutes to solve it?

Yes, Beckett? Either there's a dead body or you just wanna hear my sultry voice.

Esposito: A warm milk nightcap with your lady? That is sad, bro.
Ryan: It helps her sleep.
Esposito: How about the sound of your voice? It works on me.

You know, if this was one of those super-sciencey forensics shows, they'd stick some electrodes in these fishes' brains. Get a fish eye's view of whatever they saw.

Esposito: Loser wears a dress to the precinct for a week.
Ryan: And why stop there? Loser also shaves his head. Or are you chicken?
Castle: You're on, honey milk.

Ryan: How you doing, Dr. Perlmutter?
Dr. Perlmutter: Shhhh! The body is speaking.
Esposito: What's it saying?
Dr. Perlmutter: It's saying "somebody shot me."

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