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(The Buy more gang tries to kidnap Chuck in ninja suits, when Casey stops it and orders them to take the masks off and un-tie Chuck)
Lester: Man up, Charles.
Chuck: Why would you do this to me?
Morgan: I'm sorry man, it was a practice run for when we kidnap Awesome for his bachelor party.
Chuck: You guys aren't even invited.
Lester: What finer way to be invited than to kidnap the guest of honor.
Jeff: A bachelor party is a mythical place where booze and women are free...it's Xanadu.
- Permalink: Man up, Charles. Why would you do this to me? I'm sorry man,...
Zamir: Who the hell is Chuck?
Chuck: Huh? Chuck? Chuck? No clue. I have no clue. I am Doctor...I am Doctor Woodcomb, okay, or Devon, or Doc or sometimes people call me Captain Awesome but I have no idea who this...who this Chuck is.
(Zamir tears the white coat away revealing Chuck's Nerd Herd identity card)
Chuck: Oh, you mean that Chuck.
- Permalink: Who the hell is Chuck? Huh? Chuck? Chuck? No clue. I have no c...
(Alex has just tranquillized Awesome)
Chuck: Have I no rights? You can't just go around willy nilly knocking out my family members.
Alex: Looks like we can.
- Permalink: Have I no rights? You can't just go around willy nilly knocking ...
(Casey is disguised as a hospital cleaner)
Nurse: Hysterectomy in 806 didn't make it to the toilet. Do you mind?
Casey: You got it.
- Permalink: Hey...you! Yeah. Hysterectomy in 806 didn't make it to the t...
Casey: Hey, the security system's has been updated. I'll either need 40 minutes to decrypt the code or four ounces of C4.
Alex: No, we should just take out some doctor and steal his card key.
Casey: I like the cut of your jib.
Chuck: Wow! You two are a match made in a very frightening part of heaven.
- Permalink: Hey, the security system's has been updated. I'll either need 40...
Mohammed Zamir: Are you his doctor?
Chuck: Of course! Am I not wearing a doctor's coat? Who else would I be if not for one of this man's doctors?
Mohammed Zamir: Doctor, I am Harry Lime's private physician, Dr. Mohammed Zamir.
Chuck: Ah, Doctor!
Mohammed Zamir: Doctor!
Mohammed Zamir: Doctor!
Chuck: And Doctor!
Mohammed Zamir: Nurse, would you excuse us for a moment please? I'd like to consult the doctor privately please.
Chuck: Yes, yes, we will be discussing doctor things that only doctors understand, please go. (Alex walks towards the door) Please don't go.
Alex: Be right outside, Doctor.
- Permalink: Are you his doctor? Of course! Am I not wearing a doctor's coa...
Chuck: Is it really you or am I super stoned?
Sarah: Uh, both. Heh.
- Permalink: Is it really you or am I super stoned? Uh, both. Heh.
Morgan: Chuck, sorry buddy. We are here to plead our case about Awesome's bachelor party.
Chuck: You know what, not now, guys. I'm in the middle of something.
Lester: The world revolves around the sun, Charles, not you.
Jeff: Ooh, astronomy snap.
- Permalink: Chuck, sorry buddy. We are here to plead our case about Awesome'...
Lester: Jeff and I...we've never been to a bachelor party.
Jeff: Never known anyone qualified enough to land a woman for life
- Permalink: Jeff and I...we've never been to a bachelor party. Never known...
Alex [dressed as stripper]: I understand one of you has been a naughty, naughty boy.
Lester: Me, oh my God, pick me, I'm so bad, I've been bad, I've been bad, I'm a bad person, I'm a terrible person.
Jeff: I broke eight and a half commandments on the way to work this morning
- Permalink: I understand one of you has been a naughty, naughty boy. Me, o...
General Beckman: I wanted to have a private word with you... pardon the intrusion
Chuck: On this moment or my life in general?
- Permalink: I wanted to have a private word with you... pardon the intrusion...