Chuck Season 2 Episode 18: "Chuck Versus the Broken Heart" Quotes
(The Buy more gang tries to kidnap Chuck in ninja suits, when Casey stops it and orders them to take the masks off and un-tie Chuck)
Lester: Man up, Charles.
Chuck: Why would you do this to me?
Morgan: I'm sorry man, it was a practice run for when we kidnap Awesome for his bachelor party.
Chuck: You guys aren't even invited.
Lester: What finer way to be invited than to kidnap the guest of honor.
Jeff: A bachelor party is a mythical place where booze and women are free...it's Xanadu.
Zamir: Who the hell is Chuck?
Chuck: Huh? Chuck? Chuck? No clue. I have no clue. I am Doctor...I am Doctor Woodcomb, okay, or Devon, or Doc or sometimes people call me Captain Awesome but I have no idea who this...who this Chuck is.
(Zamir tears the white coat away revealing Chuck's Nerd Herd identity card)
Chuck: Oh, you mean that Chuck.
(Alex has just tranquillized Awesome)
Chuck: Have I no rights? You can't just go around willy nilly knocking out my family members.
Alex: Looks like we can.
(Casey is disguised as a hospital cleaner)
Nurse: Hysterectomy in 806 didn't make it to the toilet. Do you mind?
Casey: You got it.
Casey: Hey, the security system's has been updated. I'll either need 40 minutes to decrypt the code or four ounces of C4.
Alex: No, we should just take out some doctor and steal his card key.
Casey: I like the cut of your jib.
Chuck: Wow! You two are a match made in a very frightening part of heaven.
Mohammed Zamir: Are you his doctor?
Chuck: Of course! Am I not wearing a doctor's coat? Who else would I be if not for one of this man's doctors?
Mohammed Zamir: Doctor, I am Harry Lime's private physician, Dr. Mohammed Zamir.
Chuck: Ah, Doctor!
Mohammed Zamir: Doctor!
Mohammed Zamir: Doctor!
Chuck: And Doctor!
Mohammed Zamir: Nurse, would you excuse us for a moment please? I'd like to consult the doctor privately please.
Chuck: Yes, yes, we will be discussing doctor things that only doctors understand, please go. (Alex walks towards the door) Please don't go.
Alex: Be right outside, Doctor.
Chuck: Is it really you or am I super stoned?
Sarah: Uh, both. Heh.
Morgan: Chuck, sorry buddy. We are here to plead our case about Awesome's bachelor party.
Chuck: You know what, not now, guys. I'm in the middle of something.
Lester: The world revolves around the sun, Charles, not you.
Jeff: Ooh, astronomy snap.
Lester: Jeff and I...we've never been to a bachelor party.
Jeff: Never known anyone qualified enough to land a woman for life
Alex [dressed as stripper]: I understand one of you has been a naughty, naughty boy.
Lester: Me, oh my God, pick me, I'm so bad, I've been bad, I've been bad, I'm a bad person, I'm a terrible person.
Jeff: I broke eight and a half commandments on the way to work this morning
General Beckman: I wanted to have a private word with you... pardon the intrusion
Chuck: On this moment or my life in general?