Sarah [about Devon]: So wait, you call him Captain Awesome?
Chuck: Yeah, wait till you meet him. Everything he does is awesome. Climbing mountains, jumping out of planes, flossing..

Chuck: I'm a funny guy
Sarah: Clearly! Which is good cause I'm not funny.
Chuck: Is that your big secret, by the way? Cause I've been sitting here trying to figure out what's wrong with you...
Sarah: Oh plenty, believe me.
Chuck: And I was thinking either she's either a cannibal or she's really not that funny... and I was pulling for cannibal because I've never met one before.
Sarah: uhh... not a cannibal

Sarah: I did just come out of a long relationship so I may come with baggage.
Chuck: Well I can be your very own baggage handler

Sarah: God, I'm not funny, I don't listen to music... this must be your worst date ever, right? ... I was waiting for you to say no.
Chuck: Sorry, I kinda zoned out there for a second. No, no no no! God no. I've had much worse dates... experiences overall, with women. In eleventh grade...
Sarah: Eleventh grade? Oh. You have to go back that far? Come on!
Chuck: I don't date that much

Sarah: Listen to me Chuck, those men will hurt you. They're from the NSA and they're after you.
Chuck: Why me? I'm nobody! I'm the supervisor of a Nerd Herd at a Buy-More. Maybe one day I'll be assistant store manager and I don't even know if I want that job. But you know what? That's not your problem

Sarah: Come any closer, I shoot!
Casey: You shoot him, I shoot you, I leave both your bodies here and go out for a late night snack. I'm thinking, maybe pancakes

Sarah: Wow, I didn't think people still named their kids Chuck. Or Morgan, for that matter.
Chuck: My parents were sadists, and carnival freaks found him in a dumpster.
Morgan: But they raised me as one of their own!

Chuck: Uh, you know, Sis, the thing is, Morgan and I don't really feel like we're fitting my birthday party...'cause we don't know anybody, 'cause they're all your friends, and they all happen to be doctors.
Morgan: Doctors who don't really get our jokes!
Chuck: Well, your jokes

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