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Kim: You're really mean.
Annie: Put it in a letter, Jane Austen!

Pop, pop, Captain.


Everyone wins. Except Abed. But, you know, not everyone can win.

Dean Pelton

I wanted to stand next to you for a moment. Like a good book by Orwell. Or a Veggie Delight.


Troy: Vice Dean Laybourne. You have a beard. And a ponytail.
Laybourne : I'm going through some stuff right now, Troy. Don't worry about it.

I am not a whore, and not that I've done the math, but if I were, I'd be the super classy kind who gets flown to Dubai to stay in an underwater hotel.


I can't think of a better use of my time here than being unconscious.


Did you know Greendale students are technically in the Army Reserve? Let's say a little prayer for peace.

Dean Pelton

Pierce: I assume you are familiar with the Greendale bylaws.
Dean Pelton: I am not.

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