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Abed: There's a two day course called "Nicolas Cage: Good or Bad?" I'm signing up--I've always wanted to know.

I thought the meaning of people was somewhere in here. Then I looked inside Nicolas Cage and I found a secret--people are random and pointless.

Abed

I don't know--if I was in 70 films over 30 years, and spent each one talking at random volumes, I might accidentally win an Oscar.

Shirley

There are two things I don't do well--apologies and drawing duck bills.

Buzz Hickey

The teachers here are teachers because they did something wrong--same as the students!

Jeff

Shut up, Leonard. Nice earring--you look like the road manager of the California Raisins.

Jeff
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