Community

Community "Pilot" Quotes

Jeff: You did seem less into integrity the day that I convinced 12 of your peers that the day you made a U-turn on the freeway and tried to order chalupas from the emergency call box, that your only real crime was loving America.
Professor Duncan: Well, I do love America. I love it very much. I love chalupas.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Abed: I thought you were like Bill Murray in any of his films, but you're more like Michael Douglas in any of his films.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jeff: We're the only species on Earth that observes Shark Week.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jeff: I'm actually a Spanish tutor.
Britta: Can you say that in Spanish now?
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Pierce: My name is Pierce Hawthorne, and yes, that's Hawthorne as in "Hawthorne Wipes," the award-winning most towelette.
Jeff: I was just gonna ask.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jeff: Sorry, I was raised on TV. I was conditioned to believe that every black woman over 50 is a mentor of some kind.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Pierce: Sexually harassing? That makes no sense to me. Why would I harass someone that turns me on?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jeff: There's a guy trying out for the track team that is older than the game of poker.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jeff: I did a little bit of lying to get close to you. I mean, you look like Elisbaeth Shue.
 • Rating: Unrated

Pierce: Abed the Arab? Is that inappropriate?
Abed: Sure.
 • Rating: 4.7 / 5.0

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