Community Season 1 Quotes
Professor Duncan: Good morning. How is student life, my dry-witted friend?
Jeff: Probably the same as teacher life, but less tragic, because I get to leave.
Professor Duncan: Very dry. Very witty. Not a great friend
Troy: I'm president Obama's nephew
Abed: You never mentioned that before
Troy: I didn't know if I could trust you, but now it's time to tell you everything, starting with we invented the Ferrari
I'm not looking down on this school at all, but I'm only here because of a brief addiction to pills that I was told will help me focus, but they actually made me lose my scholarship and virginity
Annie
Shirley: Look, we can still hang out. It's just... we won't bag on people.
Shirley: Come on, Jeff, what are we going to talk about? My- kids? Your doctor career?
Jeff: I was a lawyer.
Shirley: See, I'm already bored
Professor Duncan: I never should have let you into this lab, Miss Annie Fanny, panties in a bunch
Annie: Oh that's so hilarious, did you think of that last time you skipped a trip to the dentist?
Shirley: I don't see why you and Britta aren't together, two cute white people going to school together, it just seems right
Jeff: Shirley, we're not pandas in a zoo
Britta [about Vaughn]: The problem right now is that he's calling me "baby." He's trying to hold my hands. It's... it's getting a little relationshipy and... he gave me something.
Jeff: Herpes?
Britta: Hey Vaugn, what's up?
Vaughn: No worries
Jeff: Interesting, cause I might be worried if I was playing hacky sack a decade too late
Britta: Aren't you supposed to have an Olympic gold medal in gibber jabber
Jeff: Yeah, but I'm a sprinter. I'm at my best during high speed bursts of wit.
Britta: Did you do all that to me on purpose? That's not a very nice way to treat your friends
Abed: Well, Britta, it isn't called friend business, it's called show business [lights up a cigarette and leaves the room]
Britta: He's smoking!
Jeff: Honey, let him leave the nest
Abed's Dad: Dreams are for sleeping
Britta: You don't know that
Abed's Dad: It's clinically proven
Our first assignment is a documentary, they're like real movies but with ugly people
Abed
