Britta: This is a lock of my hair.
Troy: Creepy.

Official: Nobody can sit on something this big.
Dean: IIIII'll sit on it.

Abed: Which wire do I cut?
Troy: There's only one.
Abed: God, I hope I'm right.

Chang started his solo. Knowing him, that gives us only nine minutes to get to the records room.


Chang you're insane. You're still into keytar?


This job's getting bigger than my wife's credit card bill at Marshall's. I mean, they have great stuff, I know that.


A, that is racist. B, swamis can't drive, they're Indians.


Troy: Don't be alarmed if things get a little noisy.
Abed: Like my wife's mouth.

Do you know how long someone who is as sarcastic as I am would last in prison? Suuuuuuch a long time.


Not a lot of people get a second chance. Just you, and probably Obama.


Murray: Wherever there is air, we have eyes.
Troy: Gross.

Also when you die you go all the way back to the study room, so don't die.


Community Season 3 Quotes

Don't tell the monkey I'm living in here.


Troy: If you want to get us a gift we're registered at Linens n' Things.
Abed: We have plenty of linens. We only want the things.