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I can hear the high pitch from your IQ all the way over here.

Rossi [to Reid]

Alfred Austin said "show me your garden and I shall tell you what you are".


Pregnant victim: What are you doing?
UnSub [exasperated sigh]: Hold still.

Morgan: You're talking to the room, PG.
Garcia: If by "PG" you mean parental guidance strongly advised, I say PA. Prudent advice.

Reid: I don't like the beach.
JJ: Why's that?
Reid: Sandy food, pink skin, limited and unengaging topography. But mostly the drug resistant bacteria spread by seagull feces.
JJ: Sorry I asked.

I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity - Edgar Allan Poe

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