Marty: Why do you pee sitting down?
Larry: Many reasons.
Marty: Do you crap standing up?

Larry: Do me a favor? Next time you use the bathroom, make sure to keep the seat down.
Nat: What are you, pussy-whipped?

Weatherman: The jet stream is controlled by the rotation of the earth. You know who controls that? God!
Larry: There's a jet stream of bullshit coming out of your mouth, my friend.

(sees an apparent boner on Larry after Oscar muzzled his crotch) Enjoying the dog, Larry?


Susie: Jeffrey, who's there?
Jeff: Larry.
Susie: (hushed) Carmelita, put Oscar in the bedroom, and close the door.

Displaying all 5 quotes