Bree: Rex, don't get up, I'll just be a moment. (to Andrew) Now listen here. A parent has to provide for everything their children needs: an education, love, and a clean, safe home. And I've done all those things. I am through feeling sorry for myself. If you want to piss around and blame all your faults on your sorry home life, that's your business, but I want it stated for the record that I am a good mother!
Rex: Bree, Andrew told me he thinks he might be gay, and he wanted to tell me first because he thinks I could handle it better.
Bree: Well, he's right. I'll be waiting in the car

Gabrielle: Look, you really want to get back at him? Then kiss me.
John: How's that going to help?
Gabrielle: Because one day, when the time is right, I'm gonna tell him how he drove me right into your arms. And that's gonna kill him. And tonight, just whatever you do, don't call me beautiful.

Bree: Porter, what did I tell you?
Porter: But I'm hungry.
Bree: Well, then, I will fix you a very nice bowl of peaches and cottage cheese.
Porter: Ew, barf.
Bree: Don't be common, young man

Gabrielle: What's that?
Carlos: It's called a post-nuptual agreement. It's a legal document that...
Gabrielle: No, I know what a post-nup is. What is it doing on my coffee table?
Carlos: Well, I can forgive that stunt you pulled with the settlement check...if I'm sure that you're really going to be around when I get out of jail.
Gabrielle: And the post-nup changes the terms of the pre-nup. So...
Carlos: So if you try to divorce me while I'm gone, you get nothing.
Gabrielle: You don't trust me?
Carlos: I'm afraid not

There were many things Gabrielle Solis knew for certain. She knew red was her color. She knew diamonds went with everything and she knew men were all the same. But the one thing Gabrielle knew above all else...she would never want children. Unfortunately for Gabrielle, her husband, Carlos, felt differently. Yes, Gabrielle Solis knew without a doubt she didn't want to be a mother, but what she couldn't know was just how much her husband wanted to be a father, or that he'd been tampering with her birth control for months. Or that within one week's time, she'd be pregnant

Mary Alice

Children come into the world with their own agendas. Some to brighten our days, some to test our patience, some to give us purpose, some to take care of us. Yes, when they come children change everything. Especially when they're not invited

Mary Alice

Tom: Lynette, the kids are getting older and they are getting smarter. Soon, they're going to realize that they outnumber us and, then...
Lynette: We're screwed.
Tom: Exactly

Displaying all 7 quotes

Desperate Housewives Season 1 Episode 18 Quotes

Children come into the world with their own agendas. Some to brighten our days, some to test our patience, some to give us purpose, some to take care of us. Yes, when they come children change everything. Especially when they're not invited

Mary Alice

Tom: Lynette, the kids are getting older and they are getting smarter. Soon, they're going to realize that they outnumber us and, then...
Lynette: We're screwed.
Tom: Exactly

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