Desperate Housewives

Desperate Housewives "Coming Home" Quotes

Pat: Lynette, I have Tom on line 2.
Lynette: Pat, I'm holding a baby hostage. I will call him back.
 • Rating: Unrated

Susan: Why can't you go home and have sex with your wife, like a normal person?
Addison: She's a 68-year-old woman. That bell stopped ringing for me years ago.
 • Rating: Unrated

Susan (standing in front of her garage with the word "whore" spray-painted on): Hello, Edie. Do you have something you'd like to say?
Edie: No, that pretty much says it all.
 • Rating: Unrated

Gabrielle: I may be a Catholic, but I am so not above slapping a nun.
 • Rating: Unrated

Mary Alice: (narrating) The stories are as old as time itself. The prodigal son who returns home to hte father who forgives him. (shot of Zach playing guitar while Paul watches him.) The jealous wife who tricks the husband who trusts her. (Shot of Gabrielle stroking the head of a sick Carlos.) The desperate mother who risks everything for the child who needs her. (Shot of Betty placing a blanket over a sleeping Caleb.) And the faithless husband who hurts the wife he loves so deeply. (Shot of Addison leaving his house as his wife glares.) Why do we listen again and again? (Shot of Bree gardening) Because these are the stories of family (Andrew is reading on the porch. He smiles at Bree, and she smiles back.) And once we look past the fighting, pain, and the resentment, we occasionally like to remind ourselves, there is absolutely nothing more important. (Shot of Lynette entering her office daycare, where she spends a moment with Penny)
 • Rating: Unrated

Addison: Painting in the rain? Is that smart?
Susan: Well, let me see. Painting in the rain or letting the whole world think I'm a whore? I dunno. What do you think?
 • Rating: Unrated

Gabrielle: You! What the hell did you do with my husband?
Sister Mary: Please restrain yourself, Gabrielle, you are in the House of God.
Gabrielle: Tell me where he is!
Sister Mary: Everywhere, of course.
 • Rating: Unrated

Addison: You know you were saying you wanted to be part of my life?
Susan: Uh huh...
Addison: I'm at the police station. I need you to come bail me out..
 • Rating: Unrated

Mary Alice: There were many ways to tell Bree Van De Kamp was a lady. She was courteous to those around her, she moved with elegance and grace. And she was very careful to never let others know what she was thinking. You see, like most well-bred women, Bree had something to hide.
 • Rating: Unrated

Bree: I don't understand. I mean, what would George be doing with a life-sized doll? Oh, dear lord.
 • Rating: Unrated

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