Carlos: What about the baby, Gabrielle, huh? What about my baby?
Gabrielle: Oh, your baby?
Carlos: Fine. Our baby. Hey, we're a family now. This baby needs its mother and its father.
Gabrielle: Oh, Carlos. Whoever said you were the father?

Okay, next time I won't bring my daughter to stalk my boyfriend. It was a slight error in judgment


Gabrielle: You see, your health insurance sent us a letter because someone ordered a year's worth of birth control pills, and apparently our policy doesn't cover drugs bought by the kilo.
Carlos: I told you, it was mama.
Gabrielle: The prescription was dated, Carlos, and Juanita was in a coma when this claim was filed. You did this, not your mother. At least be man enough to own up to it. She would've been

Bree: George, do you have an erection?
George: I'm sorry! You were blowing in my ear!
Bree: You have to get rid of it! There are children present!

Edie Britt's favorite moment of every day was her arrival at the construction site of her new home, because she knew what was about to happen. Her sudden appearance was always sure to generate a few appreciative glances, a few lascivious looks, and some downright ogling. Sadly for Edie, the one man she wanted most to notice her paid her no attention at all. Yes, Edie needed attention to feel good about herself and she was determined to get it. Yes, Edie Britt needed the attention of men to feel good about herself. And even she was amazed at how far she was willing to go to get it

Mary Alice

Cyrus: Ms. Britt, you look extra beautiful today.
Edie: Oh, Cyrus, you're so sweet.
Cyrus: So anyhow, I was wondering if maybe I could, uh, take you out to dinner sometime.
Edie: Oh honey... you are so far out of your league that you are playing a completely different sport

Edie: You said you two were finished. You thought he was a murderer.
Susan: And that was your cue to come over and flirt?! You wasted your time... and your doughnuts.
Edie: Not if you choke on them

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