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Detective Barton: Bree. I have to say, I was very pleased to get your call. I mean. I'm surprisd you want to have anything to do with me, given our recent history.
Bree:Oh you mean, you having suspected me of murdering my husband? Detective, that is all water under the bridge now.

Tom: I'm serious, Lynette. I don't make the money around here anymore. I don't provide for you and the kids. And I wasn't gonna let them snip out the last thing that makes me a man. (referring to a vasectomy)
Lynette: Staying home and taking care of the kids doesn't make you less of a man. That's crazy.
Tom: You expect me to calm your irrational fears. I expect you to calm mine.
Lynette: You're you saying you're unhappy?
Tom: A little bit, yeah.
Lynette: Well, what we gonna do about that?
Tom: I don't know.
Lynette: Well, can't we just---?
Tom: No, Lynette. I don't know.

Susan: Maybe we could go out sometime.
Dr. Ron: (pauses, gestures...) Do you like sushi?
Susan: I love sushi. I'm available tomorrow night...
Dr. Ron: No, no, no... tomorrow's no good - I'll still be angry. I should be cooled down by Friday.

Dr. Ron: So, so... I was up all night, worried sick, digging through medical books trying to figure out some mysterious disease that doesn't really exist?
Susan: Really? You were up all night?
Dr. Ron: Yes! I don't enjoy telling people I think they're going to die! Especially not people I like!
Susan: You like me?
Dr. Ron: Yes!

(to Lynette) Hey, honey - good news! I checked on Penny and she didn't scream. I think she's getting used to the mask.

Tom

Carlos: I'm sorry, but this is your mistake. You're going to have to fix it yourself.
Gabrielle: And I would love to, but I have the upper body strength of a kitten. I need a brute!

Lynette: So, you're saying if I died, you would want a second wife, and a family?
Tom: Maybe...
Lynette: I can't believe you've actually thought about this!
Tom: Haven't you?
Lynette: Thought about who'd I'm marry if you died? Hmm.... NO!
Tom: It's a backup plan, I'm not going to use it!

Lynette: It's not the Ebola virus, it's chicken pox! You are being a baby!
Tom: Yes, I am, and if you think I'm being a baby now, do I need to remind you what I'm like when I'm sick? Remember that time I had strep throat? We wound up in marriage counselling.
Lynette: I'll call the office.
Tom: Thanks, honey.

Mom, you're hot, and funny, and nice, and clearly desperate - and guys are into that. Play to your strengths.

Julie

(narrating) Illnesses can take on many forms. Those of the body are easy to treat. (shot of Lynette treating one of her chicken-pox infested sons) Much more difficult are the hidden maladies that fester in our hearts. (Camera pans to Tom, who is away from his kids.) The secret addictions that consume our souls. (Shot of Ralph looking at Internet pornography) And the diseases we deny that affect our judgment. (Shot of Bree drinking a glass of wine on her porch) To survive, we need to find that special someone who can heal us. (Shot of Susan meeting Dr. Ron, giving him a muffin basket) But we can never predict who will ahve the cure for what ails us (Shot of Noah talking in bed as a nurse attends to him.) Or when they'll show up. (The nurse turns out to be Felicia Tillman.)

Mary Alice

Edie: (referring to Betty's friendliness) I don't trust friendly women.
Lynette: That's okay, they don't trust you either.

Displaying all 11 quotes

Desperate Housewives Season 2 Episode 12 Quotes

Tom: I'm serious, Lynette. I don't make the money around here anymore. I don't provide for you and the kids. And I wasn't gonna let them snip out the last thing that makes me a man. (referring to a vasectomy)
Lynette: Staying home and taking care of the kids doesn't make you less of a man. That's crazy.
Tom: You expect me to calm your irrational fears. I expect you to calm mine.
Lynette: You're you saying you're unhappy?
Tom: A little bit, yeah.
Lynette: Well, what we gonna do about that?
Tom: I don't know.
Lynette: Well, can't we just---?
Tom: No, Lynette. I don't know.

Detective Barton: Bree. I have to say, I was very pleased to get your call. I mean. I'm surprisd you want to have anything to do with me, given our recent history.
Bree:Oh you mean, you having suspected me of murdering my husband? Detective, that is all water under the bridge now.