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I hate Susan Mayer. Everytime I see those big doe eyes of hers, I swear to God I just want to go out and shoot a deer

Edie

Yao Lin: I hate lying.
Gabrielle: Yeah, well, I hate your ironing, so there

Andrew, I'm curious. When you fantasize about this woman, do you ever stop to think how she came to be on this runway? That's someone's little girl. And that someone probably had a lot of dreams for her. Dreams that did not include a thong... and a pole...

Bree

Ah, Susan. Being coy is a strategy best employed by virgins at
their first dance, for women of our age it's just annoying

Martha

I used to run a company with 85 people, and now I can't even wrangle two kids without doping them?

Lynette

John: You want me to mow the lawn wearing sandals? I'd lose a toe.
Gabrielle: You'll lose more than that if Carlos finds out you're trimming more than the hedges

Andrew: You went in my room?
Bree: You think that's bad? Tomorrow, I'm cleaning it

Gabrielle: I love taking baths. Especially with you. It's like taking a vacation from the world.
John: I hated taking baths when I was a kid. Course back then, the only thing I had to play with was my rubber ducky

Julie [about Mike]: I still don't understand why you don't just ask him out on an 'official date' date.
Susan: I'm trying a new strategy. I'm playing hard to get.
Julie: How long do you think you can keep that up?
Susan: Oh, maybe until noon. Then I'm going to have to run over there and beg him to love me

Gabrielle: Why are your friends staring at me? Did you tell them about us?
John: No. They're staring 'cuz they think you're hot.
Gabrielle: Oh, okay

When I was alive, I maintained many different identities. Lover, wife, and ultimately, victim. Yes, labels are important to the living. They dictate how people see themselves, like my friend Lynette. She used to see herself as a career woman, and a hugely successful one at that. She was known for her power lunches, her eye-catching presentations and her ruthlessness in wiping out the competition. But Lynette gave up her career to assume a new label, the incredibly satisfying role of full-time mother. But, unfortunately for Lynette, this new label frequently fell short of what was advertised

Mary Alice
Displaying all 11 quotes

Desperate Housewives Season 1 Episode 4 Quotes

Gabrielle: Why are your friends staring at me? Did you tell them about us?
John: No. They're staring 'cuz they think you're hot.
Gabrielle: Oh, okay

When I was alive, I maintained many different identities. Lover, wife, and ultimately, victim. Yes, labels are important to the living. They dictate how people see themselves, like my friend Lynette. She used to see herself as a career woman, and a hugely successful one at that. She was known for her power lunches, her eye-catching presentations and her ruthlessness in wiping out the competition. But Lynette gave up her career to assume a new label, the incredibly satisfying role of full-time mother. But, unfortunately for Lynette, this new label frequently fell short of what was advertised

Mary Alice