Lawyer: "To my dearest Susie Q. Who endured my infidelities far longer than she should have, years of cheating, betrayals almost from the day we were married...
Susan: Can we just skip to the part where I get stuff?

Gabrielle: I don't understand. How could you not know you're Mexican? We eat Mexican food all the time!
Juanita: We eat Chinese food, too. Does that mean I'm Chinese?
Carlos: No, that just means your mother hates to cook.

Susan: You fantasize about other men when you're with Carlos?
Gabrielle: Honey, Carlos has been so many different men, I'm actually surprised when I open my eyes and it's Carlos.

You want to talk about this? Fine! We lost a kid. We'll never meet him. We'll spend the rest of our lives looking at one, always wondering why there aren't two. How can saying this out loud be helpful?

Lynette

I could forgive you if you betrayed me with anyone even remotely admirable, but you chose the most contemptible man I have ever known. No, Bree, I do not need you.

Orson

I had an affair.

Bree

We eat Chinese food, too. Does that mean I'm Chinese?

Juanita

We really wanna join you and help with that diversity thing.

Gabrielle

Gabrielle: I know I'm biased, but I think she's a budding genius.
Juanita: I'm Mexican?

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