Desperate Housewives Quotes
Bree: Do you remember when you proposed?
Rex: For God's sake.
Bree: We sat on Skyline Drive and drank a bottle of apple wine and when we finished it, you turned to me and you said, "If you marry me, Bree Mason, I promise to love you for the rest of my life." And even though I was engaged to Ty Grant, and even though my father didn't like you, I said yes
When a man buys a woman expensive jewelry, there are many things he may want in return. For future reference, conversation ain't one of them
Carlos
Mike: Should I have told her we were having steak? She's not like, a vegetarian or something, is she?
Susan: Oh, no, no. Edie's definitely a carnivore
Woman: Listen, it seems to me like you have some anger management issues.
Lynette: I have four kids under the age of six. I absolutely have anger management issues
Oh God, look at all these things, all these beautiful things that my ex-husbands worked so hard for, burnt to a crisp
Edie [about her housing burning down]
Mrs. Huber: Susan, do you have anything to contribute to the clothing drive for Edie? The poor thing is running around in next to nothing!
Susan: Oh, Mrs. Huber, I thought that was Edie's idea behind it all.
Mrs. Huber: Oh, Susan! Edie may be trash but that doesn't mean she isn't a human being!
Susan was furious with Edie for using a dog to ingratiate herself with its owner. She was also furious with Mike for not seeing through this blatant maneuver. But most of all, she was furious with herself for not having thought of it first
Mary Alice
John: Ah. This is great. I got tons of homework tonight. It's so easy to concentrate after sex.
Gabrielle: Well, I'm glad I could help. Education is very important
I don't care what her reasons were. Maybe she was depressed. Maybe she was bored. It doesn't matter. She abandoned her husband and her son, and I'll never forgive her
Paul [about Mary Alice]
Mike: Actually, he was my wife's dog and one of the last things she said to me in the hospital before she died was to be sure I looked after him and I promised her I would.
Mary Alice [narrating]: And just like that Susan could suddenly see something she had never seen before.
Mike: He meant so much to her.
Mary Alice: Mike Delfino was still in love with his late wife.
Mike: And if something had happened I would have felt like I failed her. I know that sounds stupid but-
Mary Alice: And she knew right then that neither she nor Edie would be laying claim to his heart anytime soon.
Susan: No it doesn't. Not at all.
Mary Alice: So she decided, for now, she could settle for just being his friend
Rex: I can't believe you tried to kill me.
Bree: Yes, well, I feel badly about that
My name is Mary Alice Young. When you read this morning's paper you may come across an article about the unusual day I had last week. Normally there is never anything newsworthy about my life, but that all changed last Thursday. Of course everything seemed quite normal at first. I made breakfast for my family, I performed my chores, I completed my projects, I ran my errands. In truth, I spent the day as I spent every other day, quietly polishing the routine of my life, until it gleamed with perfection. That's why it was so astonishing when I decided to go to my hallway closet and retrieve a revolver that had never been used
Mary Alice
