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Jane: Thank you, but I don't need a psychiatrist.
Joan Rivers: You sound just like Madonna when she talks about her 23-year-old boyfriend.

Flights to Canada, are you trying to duck the draft?

Kim [to Parker]

Annie: I hate them.
Jane: I know you do, but let's hate them productively.

Eric: Why couldn't the astronaut book a hotel on the moon?
Parker/Eric: Because it was full!

Getting engaged is like Christmas morning.

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