Favorite Eastbound & Down Quotes
You wanna fight do it on your own time, in a parking lot somewhere, not in a school surrounded by books.
Kenny
Just like Neil Armstrong, I went to space, and now I'm back and nobody gives a shit.
Kenny
(To Wayne)
Kenny
I know deep within you there's a humongous set of testicles just waiting to drop down.
Kenny: You know how you think there's two kinds of lesbians: the really hot ones that are on Cinemax and get it on all the time, and then the really mean ones? Miss Carol is neither of those.
Kenny: Who the fuck are you?
Pat: I'm your dad. No, I'm just kidding, your dad's dead.
Kenny: Did you get my shit?
(Clegg hands a bag to Kenny)
Kenny: Why is it in a fucking zip-lock bag? What is this mushrooms? Clegg, I'm talking about steroids.
Kid in Gym Class: My dad said you ruined baseball.
Kenny Powers: You know what? I can already tell that I don't like you. And I'm probably not going to like you no matter how many pull-ups or push-ups you do. If anybody wants to pick on anybody in class, aim for him, cause I aint watching.
I am talking about me. I want — these are questions about me personally as a superstar. You know, you got this moment in time here with an American icon and you're gonna waste it asking a question about the f*cking mile?
Kenny Powers
I'm the man who has the ball. I'm the man who can throw it faster than f**k. So that is why i am better than everyone in the world. Kiss my ass and suck my d**k... everyone.
Kenny Powers
The humongous part about being a celebrity is cashing in on it - making sh*tloads of money, having expensive, luxurious things. That way in case one day you're not famous you can still be rich as hell and better than everyone around you.
Kenny Powers
One time I was invited to come to a social gathering. I was paid a handsome amount of money, and I bought a shotgun and a bottle of Tanqueray and showed those people the best f*cking time they've ever seen.
Kenny Powers
There's one image in my life that consistently makes me happy, no matter when I think about it, and that image, that one image is your big tits.
Kenny Powers
