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Eastbound-and-down

Down there I fought and fucked my way to being the greatest gringo that country has ever seen.

Kenny

Kenny: Chapter Nothing: The Fucking Epilogue.

Terrence: You want a smoothie?
Kenny: No, I'm straight.

Interviewer: So Kenny, how do you feel about playing for New York?
Kenny: You mean Jew York? It's fucking great.

Kenny: Man, this feels good Clegg.
Clegg: Did you take one of those black beauties? The ecstasy?
Kenny: Nah dude. This is a real job. It's not like teachin' kids. Can't get fucked up.

Ashley: I don't want to be embarrassed.
Kenny: Well, you're doing a good job of that on your own just by how you fucking look.

Kenny: I thought Ashley Schaeffer was gonna be a woman.
Ashley: I love women, so I'll take that as a compliment.

Kenny: I need you to score me some juice.
Clegg: What do you mean? Like from the store.
Kenny: No, you idiot. Steroids!

So, besides getting shot in the back of the head do you know what else Abraham Lincoln did? He was a champion wrestler in high school and no, I'm not making that up.

Kenny

Kenny: What are you looking at?
Paper Boy: Your hair asshole.
Kenny: Yeah, nice job making three bucks a week dipshit. Sell weed and you'll make more money.

If there's one thing I hate it's losing. If there's two things I hate it's losing and getting cancer.

Kenny

It's better to be strangled by a necklace of Mexicans than to be strangled by no one.

Kenny
Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 103 in total

Eastbound & Down Quotes

Down there I fought and fucked my way to being the greatest gringo that country has ever seen.

Kenny

It's better to be strangled by a necklace of Mexicans than to be strangled by no one.

Kenny
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