Fargo
Sundays 10:00 PM on FXFargo Season 2 Episode 1: "Waiting for Dutch" Quotes
Unseen mafioso: Leaving who in charge?
Joe Bulo: Unclear. His wife Floyd -- she's tough but, you know, a girl. And then there are the three sons: Dodd, Bear and Rye. And of course they all want their shot at the throne. Which the boys in research think provides a tactical opportunity for us to move aggressively to acquire or absorb their operation.
Unseen mafioso: And if you can't? If the current business owners resist?
Joe Bulo: We liquidate.
Unseen mafioso: Approved.
Ed: Wouldn't that be great? Me owning the shop, maybe you take over the salon one day. You know, unless we have a whole litter of kids by then.
Peggy: Yeah, that's... we talked about that. We're trying. But it takes time, you know.
Ed: Yeah, yeah, of course. Though uh... hun, "trying," I mean... Last time I checked, there's just the one way to make a baby, you know?
Peggy: We did that last weekend, didn't we?
Lou: Ordered this kit of recipe cards, saw it on the TV. So now every night we eat delicacies of the world.
Hank: Some men like that. Variety.
Lou: She put a souffle on the table last night. Perfectly good casserole -- then lit it on fire with a kitchen match.
Hank: Huh?
Lou: Which reminds me, you're invited for dinner tomorrow.
Oh, crap.
Judge
Rye: There's two ways this can go--
Judge: Is one of them the hard way?
Typewriter Salesman: So, soon as you talk to the Judge and she unfreezes the accounts, well, then we can turn on the money spigot.
Rye: The what?
Typewriter Salesman: The spigot? It's like where you hook up a hose?
Rye: What, like a fire hose?
Typewriter Salesman: ... Any hose.
Dodd: You wear short pants 'til you prove you're a man.
Rye: I'm a man.
Dodd: You're the comic in a piece of bubble gum!
Rye: Well, I mean, says you.
Rye: Well, you know, maybe I needed it for me. For something I--
Dodd: No, you earn for the family, not for yourself.
Rye: Yeah but you're the oldest, and then there's Bear, and that's the throne. What am I ever gonna be except the kid you send out for milk?
Dodd: You're a Gerhardt.
Rye: That's like Jupiter telling Pluto, "Hey, you're a planet, too."
Crew member: This is the actual field, they tell me.
Native American extra: What?
Crew member: This is the actual battlefield. Massacre at Sioux Falls. I think three hundred of your people -- braves -- died here, what, a hundred years ago?
Native American: I'm from New Jersey.
Crew member: Sure but... yeah, you're an Indian, right? So... that's gotta be, uh...
Native American: Gotta be what?
Crew member: No, I'm just saying, this battle... was the last big battle before the end of the-- Then what came after... Look, I'm a Jew so believe me I know tribulation.
