Nikki: Ray… There’s a man in my bathroom.
Ray: Let’s not jump to any conclusions.
Nikki: Are you saying he’s not a man or that he’s not in my bathroom?

Nikki: You’re the hand, and I’m the glove.
Ray: You’re the bottle, and I’m the beer.
Nikki: ...Or the beer and the glass, in my case.

Valet: No tip?
Ray: Ya. Get a real job.

Y’know, congratulations and all that.

Ray [to Emmit]

Betsy: Goodnight, Mr. Solverson.
Lou: Goodnight, Mrs. Solverson. And all the ships at sea.

A man once said, "You'll know the angels when they come, because they'll have the faces of your children."

Hank

I just wanted to be someone.

Peggy

It's the rock we all push... men. We call it our burden, but it's really our privilege.

Lou

Mike: From this moment forward, I decree: no more schnitzel or strudel. Let's get some American food up in here.

You're always trying to fix everything. But sometimes, nothing's broken.

Ed

People of earth... I'm ho-ome!

Mike Milligan

They don't look like much. You don't look like much.

Captain Jeb Cheney

Fargo Quotes

Chief: Aww. Heck. It's Sam Hess.
Cop: Who owns the trucking company?
Chief: With the two boys both dumb as a dog's foot

Lorne: Just one word: Yes or No?