Damien: I was feeling...
Infeld: What? Full of crap.
Damien: I was going to say invincible.

The bottom line rarely helps the people on the bottom.

Damien

It's the mustache. Women are drawn to it. Men too.

Harley

Pindar: Do you think he wants to see my drone?
Peter: Is that a euphemism?

Damien: Wow you look stressed.
Jared: You don't. What's up?

No guitar. You're not a mariachi. It's weird to bring it on a date.

Jared

Damien: I've played by the rules my whole life and what has it gotten me?
Rachel: A six figure salary and a partnership at a major law firm.

Dude no, that's the salsa talking.

Peter

I literally killed my only chance at becoming a judge.

Damien

Jared: The one I like is when Infeld stole his prom date.
Damien: And I never saw it coming.

Denny, I hate to tell you this but someone just hit pause on your new life.

Jared

Jared: Any girlfriends in the picture?
Denny: We broke up. We met on line. She turned out to be a guy in Honduras.

Franklin & Bash Season 3 Quotes

You think everyone's head looks tiny because you've got a huge head. You look like a Mardi Gras float.

Jared

Who the hell are Franklin and Bash?

Piers Morgan