Jared: I want to make this work.
Swatello: So do I, but like adults.
Jared: Let's not get crazy.

Jared: My hatred for you has been greatly exaggerated.
Swatello: That's the sweetest thing you've ever said to me.
Jared: That's really sad.

Infeld: Would you care to join me in getting absolutely squiffed?
Damien: I'm all in.

Fate is what you make of it not just what comes your way.


Jared: When the dust settles is Swatello the one?
Peter: Right now she's the one who got away.

Jay Z wants to give my eulogy. Please, don't let him tell the Barbados story.


You got us arrested. We totally blame you!


My ninth birthday all I got was the Milenium Falcon with the stowaway bay.


Peter: Well, you know you can trust us.
Jared: We've got attorney friend privilege.

What is this, your video for the Chive cheesiest lawyer of the year?


I'm impressed that you've lasted two months in the monkey house that is Infeld Daniels, whatever the hell.


My two favorite counselors, Sherman and Mr. Peabody.

Judge Mosley

Franklin & Bash Quotes

See that's a talent, sounding like a total asshole even when you're supposedly saying something sincere.


"Sorry, sorry. Jean Claude Van Damme marathon last night. Unavoidable.