Luke: I traded my pig for you.
Becky: What??
Luke: Maribel. Tinker's in love with her and I said he could have her if I could have you for my rally girl.

Think we'd be here if we didn't beat a team we weren't supposed to beat?

Coach [to athletic administration]

Coach, I think I speak for everyone when I say it feels like everyone's out to get us.


There's a 36 throwback in it. I'd bet my life on it. So have a nice night.

Julie [to TA]

You've been very angry lately Luke, you need a hug? Some love?


There's a fox in my henhouse and I don't like it.


I got porn, lots of porn. Want it? K see you out there.


Epyck: Everybody in Texas smokes. Even babies smoke in this state.
Tami: Well even babies can't smoke on school property.

It looks like a lot of things are about to change for a little school called East Dillon.

Slammin' Sammy Meade
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