Chandler: Men are here!
Joey: We make fire! Cook meat!
Chandler: Then put out fire by peeing, no get invited back!

(Dramatically) It's madness, madness, I tell you! For the love of God, Monica, don't do it! (In her normal voice) Thank you.

Phoebe

It's always been you, Rach.

Ross

Like what she saw, huh? Dug my action, did she? Checking out the Chan Chan man!

Chandler

Chandler: Okay, let's do Julie. What's wrong with her?
Ross: She's not Rachel.

Ooh... I just pulled out four eyelashes. That can't be good.

Phoebe

Phoebe: Okay, Joey, your bet.
Joey: I fold like a cheap hooker who got hit in the stomach by a fat guy with sores on his face. (The girls look at him, confused.) Oh, I'm out.

Ross: I just feel like someone reached down my throat, grabbed my small intestine, pulled it out of my mouth, and tied it around my neck...
Chandler: Cookie?

Chandler: Now you stay out here and you think about what you did!
Ross: That's a duck.
Chandler: That's a bad duck!

Rachel: (About Ross's detergent) What's that?
Ross: Uberweiss. It's new, it's German, it's extra tough.

Ross: (To Monica) Cheater, cheater, compulsive eater!
(Everyone gasps)
Phoebe: Oh, my God!

Ross: This can't be it.
Rachel: Then how come it is?

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 1265 in total

Friends Quotes

Chandler: Joey's tailor... took advantage of me.
Ross: What?
Joey: No way, I've been going to the guy for twelve years.
Chandler: Oh come on, he said he was going to do my inseem, then he ran his hand up my leg and then there was definite...
Ross: What? (Chandler closes his eyes)
Chandler: Cupping.
Joey: That's how they do pants! First they go up one side, they move it over, then they go up the other side then they move it back, and then they do the rear. Ross, will you tell him. Isn't that how a tailor measures pants?
Ross: Yes, yes it is... in prison!

Joey: If the homo sapiens were in fact homo sapiens...is that why they're extinct?
Ross: Joey, homo sapiens are people!
Joey: Hey, I'm not judging!

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