Chandler: Men are here!
Joey: We make fire! Cook meat!
Chandler: Then put out fire by peeing, no get invited back!

(Dramatically) It's madness, madness, I tell you! For the love of God, Monica, don't do it! (In her normal voice) Thank you.

Phoebe

It's always been you, Rach.

Ross

Rachel: (About Ross's detergent) What's that?
Ross: Uberweiss. It's new, it's German, it's extra tough.

Like what she saw, huh? Dug my action, did she? Checking out the Chan Chan man!

Chandler

Ooh... I just pulled out four eyelashes. That can't be good.

Phoebe

Chandler: Okay, let's do Julie. What's wrong with her?
Ross: She's not Rachel.

Chandler: So, Saturday night, the big night, date night, Saturday night. Saturday night!
Joey: No plans, huh?
Chandler: Not a one.

Phoebe: Okay, Joey, your bet.
Joey: I fold like a cheap hooker who got hit in the stomach by a fat guy with sores on his face. (The girls look at him, confused.) Oh, I'm out.

Monica: What's "PLEH?"
Joey: That's help spelled backwards so that the helicopters can read it from the air!
Monica: Ah...what's doofus spelled backwards?

Ross: (To Monica) Cheater, cheater, compulsive eater!
(Everyone gasps)
Phoebe: Oh, my God!

Ross: I just feel like someone reached down my throat, grabbed my small intestine, pulled it out of my mouth, and tied it around my neck...
Chandler: Cookie?

Friends Quotes

Joey: (Wearing an old-looking hat) Hey.
Monica: Hey.
Rachel: Hey. Well, look at you, finally got that time machine working, huh?
Joey: Seriously, you like it? This guy was selling them on 8th avenue and I looked at them and I though, you know what I don't have?
Monica: A mirror?
Joey: Fine, make fun. I think it's jaunty.

Monica: What's "PLEH?"
Joey: That's help spelled backwards so that the helicopters can read it from the air!
Monica: Ah...what's doofus spelled backwards?