Chandler: Men are here!
Joey: We make fire! Cook meat!
Chandler: Then put out fire by peeing, no get invited back!

(Dramatically) It's madness, madness, I tell you! For the love of God, Monica, don't do it! (In her normal voice) Thank you.

Phoebe

It's always been you, Rach.

Ross

Rachel: (About Ross's detergent) What's that?
Ross: Uberweiss. It's new, it's German, it's extra tough.

Chandler: Okay, let's do Julie. What's wrong with her?
Ross: She's not Rachel.

Chandler: So, Saturday night, the big night, date night, Saturday night. Saturday night!
Joey: No plans, huh?
Chandler: Not a one.

Ooh... I just pulled out four eyelashes. That can't be good.

Phoebe

Like what she saw, huh? Dug my action, did she? Checking out the Chan Chan man!

Chandler

Phoebe: Okay, Joey, your bet.
Joey: I fold like a cheap hooker who got hit in the stomach by a fat guy with sores on his face. (The girls look at him, confused.) Oh, I'm out.

Monica: What's "PLEH?"
Joey: That's help spelled backwards so that the helicopters can read it from the air!
Monica: Ah...what's doofus spelled backwards?

Ross: (To Monica) Cheater, cheater, compulsive eater!
(Everyone gasps)
Phoebe: Oh, my God!

Ross: This can't be it.
Rachel: Then how come it is?

Friends Quotes

Kate: That infomercial! For the milk carton spout thing! You're the guy who doesn't know how to pour milk!
Joey: I actually can pour milk. But I got you believing that I couldn't. See, that's acting.
Kate: Right at the end, you choked on a cookie.
Joey: Yeah, that was real.

Oh! I see. And I've sort of been maintaining my amateur status so that I can waitress in the Olympics.

Rachel