Chandler: Men are here!
Joey: We make fire! Cook meat!
Chandler: Then put out fire by peeing, no get invited back!

(Dramatically) It's madness, madness, I tell you! For the love of God, Monica, don't do it! (In her normal voice) Thank you.

Phoebe

It's always been you, Rach.

Ross

Chandler: So, Saturday night, the big night, date night, Saturday night. Saturday night!
Joey: No plans, huh?
Chandler: Not a one.

Ooh... I just pulled out four eyelashes. That can't be good.

Phoebe

Like what she saw, huh? Dug my action, did she? Checking out the Chan Chan man!

Chandler

Chandler: Okay, let's do Julie. What's wrong with her?
Ross: She's not Rachel.

Rachel: (About Ross's detergent) What's that?
Ross: Uberweiss. It's new, it's German, it's extra tough.

Phoebe: Okay, Joey, your bet.
Joey: I fold like a cheap hooker who got hit in the stomach by a fat guy with sores on his face. (The girls look at him, confused.) Oh, I'm out.

Monica: What's "PLEH?"
Joey: That's help spelled backwards so that the helicopters can read it from the air!
Monica: Ah...what's doofus spelled backwards?

Chandler: Now you stay out here and you think about what you did!
Ross: That's a duck.
Chandler: That's a bad duck!

Ross: This can't be it.
Rachel: Then how come it is?

Friends Quotes

(Joey is watching "Wheel of Fortune", the letters read _OUNT RUSH _ORE)
Joey: This guy is so stupid. It's Count Rushmore.
Chandler: You know you should really go on this show.
(Later in this scene)
Chandler: Oh, and by the way, there is no Count Rushmore.
Joey: Yeah? Then who's the guy who painted the faces on the mountain?

Chandler: All right, check out this bad boy. Twelve megabytes of RAM, 500 megabyte hard drive. Built-in spreadsheet capabilities and a modem that transmits at over 28,000 BPS.
Phoebe: Wow. What are you gonna use it for?
Chandler: Games and stuff.