Chandler: Joey's tailor... took advantage of me.
Ross: What?
Joey: No way, I've been going to the guy for twelve years.
Chandler: Oh come on, he said he was going to do my inseem, then he ran his hand up my leg and then there was definite...
Ross: What? (Chandler closes his eyes)
Chandler: Cupping.
Joey: That's how they do pants! First they go up one side, they move it over, then they go up the other side then they move it back, and then they do the rear. Ross, will you tell him. Isn't that how a tailor measures pants?
Ross: Yes, yes it is... in prison!

Everyone I know is either getting married or getting pregnant or getting promoted, and I'm getting coffee! And it's not even for me!

Rachel

Chandler: So, Saturday night, the big night, date night, Saturday night. Saturday night!
Joey: No plans, huh?
Chandler: Not a one.

Rachel: Do you think it's easy for me to see you with somebody else?
Ross: You know what, hey! You're the one who ended it! Remember?
Rachel: Yeah, because I was mad at you! Not because I stopped loving you!

Monica: What's "PLEH?"
Joey: That's help spelled backwards so that the helicopters can read it from the air!
Monica: Ah...what's doofus spelled backwards?

Chandler: Take off their hats!
Phoebe: Popes into a Volkswagen! (Chandler nods) Oh, I love that joke!

Joey: If the homo sapiens were in fact homo sapiens...is that why they're extinct?
Ross: Joey, homo sapiens are people!
Joey: Hey, I'm not judging!

(Dramatically) It's madness, madness, I tell you! For the love of God, Monica, don't do it! (In her normal voice) Thank you.

Phoebe

(To Rachel) Welcome to the real world! It sucks! You're going to love it!

Monica

Chandler: Okay Joe, I gotta ask. The hot girl from the xerox place buck naked (He gestures with his one hand), or a big tub of jam (He gestures with his other hand)?
Joey: Put your hands together.

Ross: Rach, you know, I can see you naked anytime I want.
Rachel: What?
Ross: All I have to do is close my eyes. See? (Ross closes his eyes) Woo-hoo!
Rachel: Ross, stop that!
Ross: I'm sorry.
Rachel: Come on! I don't want you thinking of me like that anymore.
Ross: Uh, sorry. Nothing you can do about it. It's one of my, uh, rights as the ex-boyfriend. (Ross closes his eyes again) Oh yeah!
Rachel: Stop it! Cut it out! Cut it out!
Ross: Okay, okay. I'm sorry. It will never happen-- (Closes eyes again) Uh oh. Wait a minute! Wait, wait. Now there are a hundred of you, and I'm the king!

Ross: Leave my aura alone.
Phoebe: Fine, be murky.

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 1265 in total

Friends Quotes

Chandler: Joey's tailor... took advantage of me.
Ross: What?
Joey: No way, I've been going to the guy for twelve years.
Chandler: Oh come on, he said he was going to do my inseem, then he ran his hand up my leg and then there was definite...
Ross: What? (Chandler closes his eyes)
Chandler: Cupping.
Joey: That's how they do pants! First they go up one side, they move it over, then they go up the other side then they move it back, and then they do the rear. Ross, will you tell him. Isn't that how a tailor measures pants?
Ross: Yes, yes it is... in prison!

Chandler: So, Saturday night, the big night, date night, Saturday night. Saturday night!
Joey: No plans, huh?
Chandler: Not a one.

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