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Ho, ho, ho, holy crap is it hot in here!

Chandler

Monica: What's "PLEH?"
Joey: That's help spelled backwards so that the helicopters can read it from the air!
Monica: Ah...what's doofus spelled backwards?

Joey: If the homo sapiens were in fact homo sapiens...is that why they're extinct?
Ross: Joey, homo sapiens are people!
Joey: Hey, I'm not judging!

(Joey is watching "Wheel of Fortune", the letters read _OUNT RUSH _ORE)
Joey: This guy is so stupid. It's Count Rushmore.
Chandler: You know you should really go on this show.
(Later in this scene)
Chandler: Oh, and by the way, there is no Count Rushmore.
Joey: Yeah? Then who's the guy who painted the faces on the mountain?

Little Girl: You're a scrud.
Ross: What's a scrud?
Little Girl: Why don't you look in the mirror, scrud?
Ross: I don't have to; I can just look at you.

Chandler: Just had me a little nubbinectomy. Yep! Two nipples, no waiting.
Monica: Wow. Just like Rachel in High School.
Rachel: What?
Monica: Come on! Come on, I was kidding! It was such an obvious joke!
Chandler: That was an obvious joke; and I didn't think of it. Why didn't I think of it? The source of all my powers! Oh dear God, what have I done!

Rachel: Ya know, I figure if I can make coffee, there isn't anything I can't do.
Chandler: If I can invade Poland, there isn't anything I can't do.

Chandler: Joey's tailor... took advantage of me.
Ross: What?
Joey: No way, I've been going to the guy for twelve years.
Chandler: Oh come on, he said he was going to do my inseem, then he ran his hand up my leg and then there was definite...
Ross: What? (Chandler closes his eyes)
Chandler: Cupping.
Joey: That's how they do pants! First they go up one side, they move it over, then they go up the other side then they move it back, and then they do the rear. Ross, will you tell him. Isn't that how a tailor measures pants?
Ross: Yes, yes it is... in prison!

(To Tommy) Step away from the duck.

Chandler

Monica: Well push it in! Push it in!
Rachel: I can not push it in!

Oh, come on tell me. I could use another reason why women won't look at me.

Chandler

I've kept myself busy. (Monica and Rachel go in their rooms and walk right back out) I put your stuff in her room and her stuff in your room.

Phoebe
Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 1265 in total

Friends Quotes

Ho, ho, ho, holy crap is it hot in here!

Chandler

Monica: What's "PLEH?"
Joey: That's help spelled backwards so that the helicopters can read it from the air!
Monica: Ah...what's doofus spelled backwards?