Rachel: Here we go. I'm serving my last cup of coffee. There you go. (Hands the cup to Chandler) Enjoy.
Chandler: (To Ross) Should I tell her I ordered tea?
Ross: No.

Rachel: I'm training to be better at a job that I hate. My life officially sucks.
Joey: Look Rach, wasn't this supposed to a temporary thing? I thought you wanted to do fashion stuff?
Rachel: Well, yeah! I'm still pursuing that.
Chandler: How... exactly are you pursuing that? Ya know, other than sending out resumes like, what, two years ago?
Rachel: Well, I'm also sending out.... good thoughts.
Joey: If you ask me, as long as you got this job, you've got nothing pushing you to get another one. You need the fear.
Rachel: The fear?
Chandler: He's right, if you quit this job, you then have motivation to go after a job you really want.
Rachel: Well then how come you're still at a job that you hate, I mean why don't you quit and get "the fear?"
(Chandler and Joey both start laughing)
Chandler: Because, I'm too afraid.

(to Rachel) And when you have a second later, I wanna show you why we don't just trap spiders under coffee mugs and leave them there.

Gunther

Phoebe: I am against innocent trees being cut down in their prime, and their, their corpses grotesquely dressed in like tinsel and twinkly lights. Hey, how do you sleep at night?
Joey: Well, I'm pretty tired from lugging the trees around all day. Hey, Phoebe listen, you got this all wrong. Those trees were born to be Christmas trees, their fulfilling their life purpose, by, by making people happy.
Phoebe: Really?
Chandler: Yes. Yes, and ah, ah, the trees are happy too, because for most of them, it's their only chance to see New York.

Gunther: Do you remember when you first came here, how you spent two weeks getting trained by another waitress?
Rachel: Oh, sure! Do you need me to train somebody new?
Gunther: (He laughs) Good one. Actually, ah, Terry wants you to take the training again, whenever.
Rachel: (To Chandler) Eh, do you believe that?
Chandler: (He stops to think) Yeah?

(About Rachel quitting her job) Does this mean we're gonna have to start paying for coffee?

Chandler

Rachel: Well, ya know that's actually a really good idea, because that way they'll be closer to the mugs. Y'know what, you should have the other waitresses do that too.
Gunther: They already do. That's why they call it the "tray spot."
Rachel: Gee, I always heard them talk about that, I just always thought that it was a club they went to. Oh God, I'm sorry.

Ross: Just admit it Chandler, you have no backhand.
Chandler: Excuse me, little one, I have a very solid backhand.
Ross: Shielding your face and shrieking like a girl... is not a backhand.
Chandler: I was shrieking... like a Marine.

Monica: You broke a little girl's leg?
Ross: I know, I feel horrible, okay.
Chandler: Says here a Muppet got whacked on Sesame Street last night. Where exactly were you around tenish?

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