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Pete: I want to become the Ultimate Fighting Champion! It's the most intense physical competition in the world, it's banned in 49 states!
Monica: What are you talking about?
Pete: Okay, my trainer, Ho Chi, is teaching me a combination of Gee Koon Doe and Brazilian street fighting, I've even had my own octagon training ring designed.
Monica: And I suppose you used a ring designer for that.
Pete: Yeah. Monica, I want you there in the front row when I win. I want you close enough to smell the blood. What do you think?
Monica: My parents will be so happy.
- Permalink: I want to become the Ultimate Fighting Champion! It's the most i...
Monica: Pete's breaking up with me.
Monica: I just checked my messages, and he said that when he gets back from Atlanta, we need to talk.
Monica: Well, that's it. People never say "We need to talk" unless it's something bad.
Joey: Whoa, that doesn't necessarily mean that he's breaking up with you.
Joey: Yeah, maybe he just cheated on you.
- Permalink: Pete's breaking up with me. What?! I just checked my message...
Rachel: What, Pheebs?! Two dates in one day? That's so unlike you.
Phoebe: I know, I know! I'm like playing the field. Ya know? Like, juggling two guys, I'm sowing my wild oats. Ya know? Ya know, this kind of like, ya know, oat-sowing, field-playing juggler.
Joey: So Pheebs, do they know about each other?
Phoebe: Does a dog's lips move when he reads?
- Permalink: What, Pheebs?! Two dates in one day? That's so unlike you. I k...
Phoebe: I'm telling you, if you want to take care of that thing, you should go to my herbal guy.
Ross: Thank you, but I want to remove it, Pheebs. I don't want to make it savory.
Monica: You know when girls sleep with guys with weird things on their body, they tell their friends about it.
Phoebe: Gimme this. (Ross grabs the herbalist's card from Phoebe's hands and leaves.)
- Permalink: I'm telling you, if you want to take care of that thing, you sho...
Monica: I gotta go water Pete's plants. You know what? If he's gonna break up with me, maybe I won't water his plants.
Chandler: Well, if he's gonna break up with you, maybe Joey and I should water his plants, if you know what I mean.
Joey: Or... ha, ha! We could go over there and pee on them!
- Permalink: I gotta go water Pete's plants. You know what? If he's gonna bre...
Ross: (About his thing) The worst thing is he said, he said, without being able to identify it, he was reluctant to remove it.
Chandler: Ya know what? You should go to my guy, because when I went in there with my third nipple. He just lopped it right off.
- Permalink: The worst thing is he said, he said, without being able to ident...
Vince: (About being a firefighter) 98 hot saves, highest in the force.
Chandler: Well, ya know, if Joey and I played with matches we could get you up to an even hundred.
- Permalink: 98 hot saves, highest in the force. Well, ya know, if Joey and...
Ross: Listen, I need a favor. Um, I was in the shower, and as I was cleansing myself, I, ah, I, well I felt something.
Chandler: Was it like a sneeze only better?
- Permalink: Listen, I need a favor. Um, I was in the shower, and as I was cl...
(To Monica) This is Pete we're talking about, he's not like other people. On your first date, he took you to Rome! For most guys, that's like a second or third date kind of thing.Chandler
- Permalink: This is Pete we're talking about, he's not like other people. On...
Phoebe: (In Pete's apartment) That is the nicest kitchen!
Monica: Yeah, I know.
Phoebe: No, but it's the nicest kitchen. The refrigerator told me to have a great day.
- Permalink: That is the nicest kitchen! Yeah, I know. No, but it's the n...
Joey: What happened to playing the field?
Phoebe: Well, it doesn't feel like playing anymore, it feels like work. It's like I'm working in the field!
- Permalink: What happened to playing the field? Well, it doesn't feel like...
I'm, like, playing the field. You know, juggling two guys, sowing my wild oats. I'm, like, this oat-sowing, field-playing juggler.Phoebe
- Permalink: I'm, like, playing the field. You know, juggling two guys, sowin...