Friends

Friends "The One with Russ" Quotes

Joey: My agent just called me with an audition for Days of Our Lives!
Phoebe: Oh, well, we have to celebrate. You know what we should do? We should do, like, a soap opera theme.
Chandler: Yeah, we could all sleep together and then one of us could get amnesia.
 • Rating: Unrated

Monica: See now, they're as different as night and ... later that night.
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Phoebe: Russ is Ross. Russ, Ross...
Rachel: Steve, sleeve.
Phoebe: Okay, no one is named sleeve.
 • Rating: Unrated

Ross: (About Russ) And it takes him like, I don't know, uh ... hello, like a week ... to get out a sentence.
Chandler: It's annoying, isn't it?
Ross: Uh, tch ... I know.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Joey: Well, I guess I could sleep with her. I mean, how could I do that?
Chandler: Well, I've got a pop-up book that told me everything I need to know.
 • Rating: Unrated

Chandler: The way that I see it is you get a great job and you get to have sex. You know, I mean, throw in a tree and a fat guy and you've got Christmas.
 • Rating: Unrated

Chandler: Hey, would you sleep with somebody to get a great job?
Rachel: I don't know. Who would I have to sleep with?
Chandler: Me.
Rachel: Why would I have to sleep with you?
Chandler: It's my game. You want the job or not?
 • Rating: Unrated

Fun Bobby: I think you may have a drinking problem.
Monica: (Holding a bag of liquor) What these, oh, these are, um, for cuts and scrapes.
 • Rating: Unrated

Rachel: Joey, would you slow down? They're not gonna be sold out of papers at one o'clock in the morning.
Joey: I'm excited! I've never gotten reviewed before.
Monica: You were so amazing as the king. I was really impressed, I was.
Phoebe: Although, you know what? You might want to consider wearing underwear next time. Yeah, because when you sat down on your throne you could kind of see your... royal subject.
 • Rating: Unrated

Monica: (Trying to cheer up Joey about getting bad reviews) Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait one minute. Wait a minute. I believe this will change your mind. (Reading) "In a mediocre play, Joseph Tribbiani was able to achieve brilliant new levels of..." continued on page 153... "sucking."
 • Rating: Unrated

Are we missing your favorite quote from "The One with Russ?" Submit it here and get points for adding quotes!