Ross: I think my marriage is over.
Phoebe: Why?
Ross: Because Carol's a lesbian ... and I'm not ... and apparently it's not a mix-and-match situation ...

(Looking out the window) Wow, Cute Naked Guy's really starting to put on weight.


Ross: (His foot gets caught in the pool table's pocket while making out with Phoebe) I can't get it out.
Phoebe: That's not something a girl wants to hear.
Ross: Sorry... Ow!
Phoebe: What?
Ross: Stupid balls are in the way...

Rosss: My wife's a lesbian.
Joey: Cool!

Phoebe: No, Mr. Heckles, we weren't making any noise!
Mr. Heckles: You're disturbing my oboe practice.
Phoebe: You don't play the oboe.
Mr. Heckles: I could play the oboe.
Phoebe: Well, then I'm going to have to ask you to keep it down. (Slams the door)

Monica: Get ready for me to whip your butt!
Chandler: Okay, but after that, we're shootin' some pool!

Ross, foot on the floor, or come over no more.


I'm sorry, I find it hard to believe that a group of people that spend this much time together as you guys do, have never bumped uglies.


Phoebe: Do you know that I couldn't sleep for, like, a month because I got a dot of ink on one of the sofa cushions?
Monica: Well, you could have just turned the cushion over.
Phoebe: I would have, except I had a big spaghetti stain on the other side.
Monica: What?!
Phoebe: See, this is what I'm talking about. I need to live in a land where people can spill!
Monica: You can spill . . . in the sink.

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