Joey: So, Ross. If you had a million dollars, what's the first thing you'd buy?
Ross: I'd probably get some municipal bonds, and then put the rest of the money in the bank and live off the interest.
Joey: Well, we've heard from Dr. Fun.

Ross: (To Frank Jr.) All we're saying is, don't rush into anything.
Joey: Yeah, come on, think about it. You're eighteen. Okay. She's forty-four. When you're thirty-six, she's gonna be eighty-eight.
Frank Jr.: You think I don't know that?

You know, I would storm out of here right now, if I had some money, or a place to go ...

Frank Jr.

(About his briefcase) You know, I forgot the combination to this a year ago? I just carry it around.

Chandler

Monica: The only reason you want to go out with me is because of the blond wig, and the big boobs, and the fact that I serve you food.
Pete: Well, if that were true I'd be dating my Aunt Ruth. And the two times we went out, it was just plain awkward.

Voice on Tape: You are a strong, confident woman who does not need to smoke... (Tape cuts off)
Joey: (On tape) Joey is your best friend... You want to make him a cheese sandwich every day... You also want to buy him hundreds of dollars of pants...

(Takes a drag off of Chandler's cigarette) Oh, Dark Mother ... once again I suckle at your smoky teat.

Gunther
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