Futurama

Futurama "A Head in the Polls" Quotes

Nixon: Computers may be twice as fast as they were in 1973 but your average voter is as drunk and stupid as ever. The only one who's changed is me. I've become bitter, and let's face it, crazy over the years. And once I'm swept into office, I'll sell our children's organs to zoos for meat. And I'll go into people's houses at night and wreck up the place! Muhuhahahaha!
 • Rating: Unrated

Leela: Look, I know there are no car chases, but this is important. One of these two men will become president of the world.
Fry: What do we care? We live in the United States.
Leela: The United States is part of the world.
Fry: Wow, I have been gone a long time.
 • Rating: Unrated

Fry: Why would Nixon stay at the Watergate?
Leela: They give you a discount if you've been here before.
 • Rating: Unrated

Bender: Bodies are for hookers and fat people!
 • Rating: Unrated

Bender: Game's over losers! I have all the money. Compare your lives to mine and then kill yourselves!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Fry (pointing to Bill Clinton): Hey, I remember you...I was gonna vote for you one time, but voting isn't cool. So I stayed home alone and got trashed on listerine.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Nixon: Now look here, you drugged out communist. I paid for this body, and I'd no sooner return it than I would my little cockerspaniel dog Checkers.
Checkers: Bark.
Nixon: Shut up, damn it!
 • Rating: Unrated

George Washington: So telleth, Bender. Whateth happen to your body?
Bender: I hocked it.
George Washington: Hocked it? Why wouldst thou do that?
Bender: Same reason you hocked your teeth.
George Washington: Ahh. Booze money.
 • Rating: Unrated

Bender: So, Nixon, even if you miss your body, being a head's great too, right?
Nixon: No, son. It's a sad and lonely life.
Bender: Aw great. Now you tell me.
Nixon: That's my style. I like to kick 'em when they're down.
 • Rating: Unrated

Morbo: Morbo demands an answer to the following question. If you saw delicious candy in the hands of a small child, would you seize and consume it?
Jack Johnson: Unthinkable.
John Jackson: I wouldn't think of it.
Morbo: What about you, Mr. Nixon? I remind you, you are under a truthoscope.
Nixon: Uh, well ah, the question is, uh, is vague. You don't say what kind of candy, whether anyone is watching, or uh... (AHEM) At any rate, I wouldn't certainly wouldn't harm the child.
(truthoscope goes off noisily)
 • Rating: Unrated

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